MOVE AWAY FROM THE DRAMA

Amen, praise God that today, I know that I have a choice. When someone pushes my buttons and tries to piss me off, I have a choice, and  I can choose to not “react”, or I can “react” and lose my serenity. I value my serenity and peace of mind today. 

I choose to live in the “solution” instead of the “problem”. I choose to remove myself from the drama. I cannot change anyone else, but I don’t have to put up with their bad attitudes and actions. I remove myself…I pray…I leave…go to a meeting…visit a friend…or maybe take a vacation. 

People have a choice too, and if they choose to continue to live in the “chaos”, that is their choice. I cannot stop others from living in the drama, but I can choose to not participate or live in it with them.

Moma always told us that if we could not say something nice then we should not say anything at all. I think that is some very good advice. It is not that I don’t want to help others, but I have come to accept that I cannot do it for them. 

I cannot imagine that when a person finds out that they have a choice,  that they would choose to be miserable. 

The Number One Thing That I Want to Convey to Others is That No One Can Force Anyone Else to Seek Recovery No Matter How Much You Love Them

I WANT TO HELP YOU

OMG, everyday I am more grateful for the many blessings, that God has put in my life as a result of working my Al-Anon program for thirty years.

God did not promise us that we would not have problems, just that He would help us cope with them by giving us the strength and courage to live through them, or solve them. Just because I have thirty years of recovery does not mean that I am immune to “life problems”.  

The number one thing that I want to convey to others is that no one can force anyone else to seek recovery no matter how much they love them.  

Until I got miserable enough to seek help, I was not motivated to change and do the “footwork”, therefore I could not grow or improve. Therefore I stayed stuck and miserable. I believed that there was nothing that I could do to change my situation or that I had any choice to make better decisions. 

I have been dealing with a lot of problems lately. My husband had his Taver (Heart Valve) surgery on Friday, May 13, 2016. The surgery went wonderful. 

We were really worried about whether he would come out of the surgery. Two years ago, there was no help for someone with CHF. Dr. Biswajit Kar, MD –  Cardiovascular Disease Specialist at Memorial Hermann, in Houston, Texas. He was the only one that could do the job. Ten years ago, my husband would not have survived his sixtieth birthday without the surgery. 

We had prayed for God to be with us, and that we wanted God’s will. Of course, we wanted him to live. So, one more time God showed us that He was still with us.  Len survived the surgery, and is recuperating in the Cardiac Intensive Care unit. I do have hope for the future, and he should be able to come home soon. But my husband has to be the one to do the Cardiac Rehab.  God, knows that I cannot do it for him. He has to be the one to do the “footwork”. Maybe he will do it, we will see. I know that all I can do is to pray for him. 

“In recovering from a dysfunctional family system, I have to pay particular attention to the “me-versus-them” thinking and how it immobilized me.  As an adult, I still sometimes lose myself in certain relationships (especially my husband). When I look at it this way, I am reminded that I don’t have to lose myself again,  in the disease or in relationships.” source: Hope for Today, Al-Anon Family Group, 2002

 

Our True Home

Field of Sunflowers

“Our true home is in the present moment.

To live in the present moment is a miracle.

The miracle is not to walk on water.

The miracle is to walk on the green earth in the present moment,

To appreciate the peace and beauty that are available now.

Peace is all around us-

In the world and in nature-

And within us-

In our bodies and in our spirits.

Once we learn to touch this peace,

We will be healed and transformed.

It is not a matter of faith,

It is a matter of practice. “

source: The Twelve Step Prayer Book, written and compiled by Bill P. and Lisa D, 2004, Hazelden, http://hazelden.org

 

Watch “Kelly Clarkson – Stronger (What Doesn’t Kill You)” on YouTube — Totally Inspired Mind…

I love this song. When I was going through some very challenging times a few years ago, this song made me want to dance in the mall, where I heard it the first time. I hope it inspires at least a few of you out there the same way. Paulette L Motzko April 15th, 2016 […]

via Watch “Kelly Clarkson – Stronger (What Doesn’t Kill You)” on YouTube — Totally Inspired Mind…

What is a Dry Drunk? Signs and Ways to Overcome It!

If you have been around the rooms of a twelve step program then you probably have heard of the term dry drunk, but what does that exactly mean?  Basically, a dry drunk is an alcoholic that is sober but still acts like they did when they were drinking. They are usually angry and miserable most of the time and appear to be white knuckling through life just to not drink and be happy. This is why a program of recovery for alcoholics and addicts is suggested. 

Signs and Characteristics of a Dry Drunk

A dry drunk will start to show signs of anger, depression, discontentment, irritability and restlessness if they are not working on themselves. The hopelessness that they begin to feel starts to make them act out in unhealthy ways, which may in fact start to resemble behaviors they had when they were still drinking or using. Although the dry drunk isn’t drinking or using, they may no longer be motivated to stay clean and sober. This can happen because of a few different things: something happened where they lost all hope, they built a resentment, they believe that they don’t need to work any steps, they experienced a setback, etc. Whatever the reason for this syndrome, it can descend very rapidly and may lead to a relapse. The good news is that there are ways to overcome dry drunk syndrome.

How To Get Out Of The Dry Drunk Funk

Awareness of actions and a desire to change

Work a program of recovery (calling a sponsor, working the 12-steps, going to meetings, and helping others)

Build a stable sober support network

Maintain a relationship with a higher power

Learn new skills and hobbies