Toxic People

Sally Tudor:

I divorced my ex because of his insanity, and him REFUSING to stop USING! I have never been sorry for putting me first for once.

I loved him, but I had to let go of him because his “toxity” was killing me. He wanted me to drink again. He was that selfish! He brought liqour into our home to try and tempt me. I told him that “No one” and “Nothing” was worth me getting drunk over or losing my serenity over. I could not change him, but I could get away from him.

You never really get over the ABUSE, it has been fifteen years and it still makes me sick to my stomach to even see him or to talk about it.

God gave a wonderful husband, that would die before he ever hurt me. Men can and are ABUSED and USED by sick women!!!

My husband had his family that helped him to escape the insanity like my family did me. Thank God that I had AA and Al-Anon that taught me that I am powerless over people, places, and things.

Originally posted on dawnspitfire's blog:

Gotta love Mandy Hale!
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BOUNDARIES!

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7 Smart Ways to Deal with Toxic People
by Marc and Angel Hack Life

For complete article, check out link above. Otherwise, here’s a few highlights-

If you know someone who insists on destructively dictating the emotional atmosphere, then be clear: they are toxic.  If you are suffering because of their attitude, and your compassion, patience, advice, and general attentiveness doesn’t seem to help them, and they don’t seem to care one bit, then ask yourself, “Do I need this person in my life?”
(That SHOULD BE an easy answer → “hell no!”)
When you delete toxic people from your environment it becomes a lot easier to breathe.  If the circumstances warrant it, leave these people behind and move on when you must.  Seriously, be strong and know when enough is enough! →→→Letting go of toxic people doesn’t mean…

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The Al-Anon Promises

“If we willingly surrender ourselves to the spiritual discipline of The Twelve Steps and work the program, our lives will be transformed. Members work their program by being willing to attend meetings on a regular basis, reading Al-Anon/Alateen literature, getting a sponsor, working toward applying the 12 Steps of recovery to their lives and by becoming involved in Al-Anon Service work as they begin to recover. 

1. We will become mature, responsible individuals with a great capacity for joy, fulfillment, and wonder. Though we may never be perfect, continued spiritual progress will reveal to us our enormous potential.
2. We will discover that we are both, worthy of love and loving. We will love others without losing ourselves, and will learn to accept love in return.
3. Our sight, once clouded and confused, will clear and we will be able to perceive reality and recognize truth
4. Courage and fellowship will replace fear. We will be able to risk failure to develop new hidden talents.
5. Our lives, no matter how battered and degraded, will yield hope to share with others.
6. We will begin to feel and will come to know the vastness of our emotions, but will not be slaves to them.
7. Our secrets will no longer bind us in shame.
8. As we gain the ability to forgive our families, the world, and ourselves our choices will expand.
9. With dignity we will stand for ourselves, but not against our fellows.
10. Serenity and peace will have meaning for us, as we allow our lives and the lives of those we love to flow day by day with G-ds ease, balance, and grace.
11. No longer terrified, we will discover we are free to delight in lifes paradox, mystery, and awe.
12. We will laugh more.
13. Fear will be replaced by faith, and gratitude will come naturally as we realize that our Higher Power is doing for us what we cannot do for ourselves.

Can we really grow to such proportions? Only if we accept life as a continuing process of maturation and evolution toward wholeness. Then we suddenly begin to notice these gifts appearing. We see them in those who walk beside us. Sometimes slowly or haltingly, occasionally in great bursts of brilliance, those who work The Steps change and grow toward light, toward health, and toward their Higher Power. Watching others, we realize this is also possible for us.

Will we ever arrive? Feel joyful all the time? Have no cruelty, tragedy, or injustice to face? Probably not, but we will acquire growing acceptance of our human fallibility, as well as greater love and tolerance for each other. Self-pity, resentment, martyrdom, rage, and depression will fade into memory. Community rather than loneliness will define our lives. We will know that we belong, we are welcome, we have something to contribute, and that is enough.” source: Survival to Recovery, p. 269

The Twelve Promises

Twelve Promises

“If we are painstaking about this phase of our development,
1. We will be amazed before we are half way through.
2. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness.
3. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.
4. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace.
5. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others.
6. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear.
7. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows.
8. Self-seeking will slip away.
9. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change.
10. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us.
11. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us.
12. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves (spiritual awakening).
Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us, sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them.

We Are Not A Glum Lot

we are not a glum lot

We aren’t a glum lot. If newcomers could see no joy or fun in our existence, they wouldn’t want it.

We absolutely insist on enjoying life.

We try not to indulge in cynicism over the state of the nations, nor do we carry the world’s troubles on our shoulders.

When we see a man (or woman) sinking into the mire that is alcoholism, we give him/her first aid and place what we have at their disposal.

For their sake, we do recount and almost relive the horrors of our past.

But those of us who have tried to shoulder the entire burden and trouble of others find we are soon overcome by them.

So we think cheerfulness and laughter make for usefulness. Outsiders are sometimes shocked when we burst into merriment over a seemingly tragic experience out of the past. But why shouldn’t we laugh?

We have recovered, and have been given the power to help others.”

source: Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 132

INDUSTRIAL GROUP - 65TH. ANNIVERSARY

“We are not a glum lot…” is the theme of our Anniversary. Alcoholism is a family disease. Al-Anon is for the family and friends of alcoholics. All are welcome. We are celebrating our 65th. year Anniversary at the Industrial Group, 1411 First Street, Galena Park, Texas 77547, on Saturday, May 16, 2015. Join us for food and fellowship. Doors open at 4:30 p.m.

Quit Playing God~Let God Be God

Alcoholics Anonymous

Page 62

“If the rest of the world would only behave; the outlaw safe cracker who thinks society has wronged him; and the alcoholic who has lost all and is locked up. Whatever our protestations, are not most of us concerned with ourselves, our resentments, or our self-pity?

Selfishness – self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles. Driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity, we step on the toes of our fellows and they retaliate. Sometimes they hurt us, seemingly without provocation, but we invariably find that at some time in the past we have made decisions based on self which later placed us in a position to be hurt.

So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making. They arise out of ourselves, and the alcoholic is an extreme example of self-will run riot, though he usually doesn’t think so. Above everything, we alcoholics must be rid of this selfishness. We must, or it kills us! God makes that possible. And there often seems no way of entirely getting rid of self without His aid. Many of us had moral and philosophical convictions galore, but we could not live up to them even though we would have liked to. Neither could we reduce our self-centeredness much by wishing or trying on our own power. We had to have God’s help.

This is the how and why of it. First of all, we had to quit playing God. It didn’t work. Next, we decided that hereafter in this drama of life, God was going to be our Director. He is the Principal; we are His agents. He is the Father, and we are His children. Most good ideas are simple, and this concept was the keystone of the new and triumphant arch through which we passed to freedom.”

I did not believe that I was “playing God”. I thought that I just wanted my husband to stop drinking and get better. Truth was I wanted him to get better so that I would not have to get divorced and go to work. I was terrified of being alone, and I had no job skills. My baby was only four. I had to learn that I was not God and I had no right to try and control my alcoholic and make decisions for him. I tried to change him and then when I was tired of going crazy trying to change him and not getting the results that I wanted, I finally had to “let go and let God”. I accepted the fact that I was not God, and then I had peace and serenity for the first time in a long time. Whenever I work with a new person, I make sure to tell them that I am NOT God, and I could only help them to recover. But…that they had to find God and work the steps. 

It is Not Selfish to Take Care of, and Be Good to Ourselves! You Are Important Too!

YOU ARE THE AUTHOR OF YOUR OWN STORYI am so grateful for you posting, Elder Theodore M. Burton. I never thought that I was important enough to write about. I was told all my life to not be selfish.

I struggled with the decision about whether I should write about myself or my family. I CAN write about both. I WILL write about what I know.

Jesus the Messiah is alive

Sally Tudor:

Jesus brought my “New Life” to me beginning on March 28, 1986, twenty nine years ago. Saved by God’s grace and love.

Originally posted on News that matters:

The Messiah paid for the sins of the World with His own blood. He defeated sin on the cross on Calvary Hill in Jerusalem.

The eternally begotten Son of God is alive. He is the ressurection and life. The eternally begotten Son of God is alive. He is the ressurection and life.

The passover lamb of God has been sacrificed.  The event took place in Jerusalem 2.000 years ago.

The Messiah has risen. After three days and three nights in Sheol, He appeared to 500 witnesses.  He is alive.

We are called to walk in the power of His resurrection. As free men, with our names written in the book of life.  We are called to trust, obey, rely on and live for Him. Every day.  Amen.

For you have been born again, not of perishable seed, but of imperishable, through the living and enduring word of God.

If you love Him:
1. Do not make images, and do not worship…

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My Spiritual Journey

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