Help and Hope- Al-Anon- Step 12

Al-Anon and Ala-Teen Service Manual

Help and Hope
We who have turned to Al‑Anon have often done so in despair,
unable to believe in the possibility of change and unable to go
on as we have before. We feel cheated out of a loving companion,
over-burdened with responsibilities, unwanted, unloved, and alone.
There are times when some of us can act arrogant, smug, self righ‑
teous, and dominating. We come to Al‑Anon, however, because we
want and need help.
While we may have been driven to Al‑Anon by the effects of some‑
one else’s drinking, we soon come to know that our own thinking
has to change before we can make a new and successful approach
to living. It is in Al‑Anon that we learn to deal with our obsession, our
anxiety, our anger, our denial, and our feelings of guilt. It is through
the fellowship that we ease our emotional burdens by sharing our
experience, strength, and hope with others. Little by little, we come
to realize at our meetings that much of our discomfort comes from
our attitudes. We begin to change these attitudes and learn about
our responsibilities to ourselves. We discover feelings of self-worth
and love, and we grow spiritually. The emphasis begins to be lifted
from the alcoholic and placed where we do have some power—
over our own lives.  https://al-anon.org/pdf/P2427_online.pdf

Al-Anon's Do's and Dont's

The Twelve Steps

These Twelve Steps, adapted nearly word-for-word from the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous, have been a tool for spiritual growth for millions of Al‑Anon/Alateen members. At meetings, Al‑Anon/Alateen members share with each other the personal lessons they have learned from practicing from these Steps.

  1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.
  2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
  3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
  4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
  5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
  6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
  7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
  8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
  9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
  10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
  11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
  12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

© Al-Anon’s Twelve Steps, copyright 1996 by Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc. Reprinted with permission of Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc.

3-C's of Al-Anon

Mother And I Loved Old Trees With Character

Texas Tudors' Blog

Me And Mother Loved Old Trees With Character. She told me how her Mother would take all four of her girls for a walk in the woods, and she would point out different colored leaves, and trees with character. She told me that she didn’t want to walk. Her Mother would drop them off and make them walk back to the car. Her Mother pointed out an old dead tree, and how beautiful it was. Mother would whine that she didn’t see nothing beautiful just an old dead tree. My Grandmother was a fan of Ralph Waldo Emerson.  She tried to get her children interested in finding the good in things, and love of nature.

Mother did the same to us, and I was the one whining about I didn’t want to walk, and that I didn’t see anything beautiful about an old dead tree.

Near the end of Mother’s…

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My Al-Anon Recovery began on Friday, March 28, 1986

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My Al-Anon recovery began on Friday, March 28, 1986. I will always be grateful for the alcoholic that led me to Al-Anon to where I found God. My first Heart to Heart was in 1987. I was so confused. I did not know what to call myself. We had a red ball meeting, and the ball hit me so I had to get up in front of about 300 women to speak. I was so nervous. I laughed and told them that I was Sally and I guess that I am an Alco-Non. I am an Al-Anon and an AA. We are all the same. None of us better than the other, and neither of us are to “blame” for each other’s disease or problems.

Before my Al-Anon meeting one night this year an alcoholic man made a smart ass remark to me about how could I be both. I told him that whether he liked it or not, he probably was too, because if he was married to one or the father, or brother, or friend of an alcoholic then he was an Al-Anon. I am excited about being able to go to Heart to Heart again finally after a few years that I missed Care taking my mother and husband. God is good. Now, fifty two years later, God gave me my “first love” back, and we could not be happier. 

Wild Angels…

Wild Angels
Between the perfect world and the bottom line
Keeping love alive in these troubled times
It’s a miracle in itself
And we know too well what that’s about 
Still we made it through, only God knows how
We must’ve had a little help
(Must’ve been)
Wild Angels, Wild Angels
Watching over you and me
Wild Angels, Wild Angels
Baby what else could it be
Well it must’ve been hard, it must’ve been tough
Keeping up with crazy fools like us
‘Cause it’s so easy to fall apart
And we still break each other’s heart sometimes
Spent some nights on the jagged side
Somehow we wake up in each other’s arms
(Must’ve been)
Wild Angels,
I do believe in angels. I have collected angels. I decorate at Christmas with angels. I did elderly home health care, and our company was named, “Guardian Angel Services”. I am not superstitious, and I do not believe in ghosts. I am a child of God, and I know that God works through people, the same way that satan does. I know without a doubt that God’s angels have been with me all my life. Especially, this past year of living through the nightmare of Hurricane Harvey and losing my husband of 12 years. God carried me through 3 months in a hotel, and not knowing where or when we would have a home again. Six months later after praying and putting one foot in front of the other, God put my first love back into my life. Now, we are married and I can look back and see how God and my family have carried me through. God has blessed me with a wonderful man with a big heart, that loves me not just my physical body, but body, mind, and soul. God has finally answered my prayers after 52 years.
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My favorite pic of us: Sally and Garry Johnson, Texas, April 14, 2018

To Those I Love…

To Those I Love Poem

To Those I Love – by Isla Richardson

If I should ever leave you whom I love
To go along the silent way,
Grieve not,
Nor speak of me with tears,
But laugh and talk of me as if I were beside you there.

(I’d come – I’d come, could I but find a way!
But would not tears and grief be barriers?)
And when you hear a song
Or see a bird I loved,
Please do not let the thought of me be sad 
For I am loving you just as I always have 
You were so good to me!

There are so many things I wanted still to do

So many things to say to you
Remember that I did not fear
It was just leaving you that was so hard to face
We cannot see beyond
But this I know;
I love you so
‘twas heaven here with you!

 

THERE IS A BATTLE GOING ON!

THERE IS A BATTLE GOING ON

THERE IS A BATTLE GOING ON, keep your eyes open and your sword sharp!

I will fight in whatever way that I can to help stop the destruction of our beloved nation by the Liberal, Leftist, Demon-Rat Communists and their EVIL agendas!

Evil manifests itself in many forms. Kill one and another one will take its place. Evil is like a fungus. The good must always fight the evil. There is no way to completely eradicate evil from the world. Just like drug dealers, kill one and there will always be another to take its place. Evil is NOT in the gun, or the knife, or the sword. Evil is in the person. Evil exists in the heart, the mind, and the body of people. It spreads like wildfire. Evil corrodes every part of the host it invades. It spew out hate, anger, pain, and prejudices, violence, cruelty, criticism, and fear. Evil infiltrates the person and in their effort to throw blame off themselves, they blame, rationalize, and make excuses for their evil actions.

lucifer's_rules_radicalsEvil people use the “Saul Alinsky’s Rules for Radicals” to project the blame and accuse others of doing what they are in reality doing themselves. Clinton, Obama, and others use them to try and gain control of us!

saul-alinsky-dedication

STOP he evil N.W.O. globalists from taking over America or any other country! They are evil, self-centered, and do NOT want what is best for you but what is good for them!

 

 

But it is from our twisted relations with family, friends, and society at large that many of us have suffered the most

12 Characteristics of a Healthy Relationship

But it is from our twisted relations with family, friends, and society at large that many of us have suffered the most. We have been especially stupid and stubborn about them.

The primary fact that we fail to recognize is our total inability to form a true partnership with another human being.

Our egomania digs two disastrous pitfalls.

Either we insist upon dominating the people we know, or we depend upon them far too much.

If we lean too heavily on people, they will sooner or later fail us, for they are human, too, and CANNOT possibly meet our incessant demands. In this way our insecurity grows and festers.

When we habitually try to manipulate others to our own willful desires, they revolt, and resist us heavily.

Then we develop hurt feelings, a sense of persecution, and a desire to retaliate. As we redouble our efforts at control, and continue to fail, our suffering becomes acute and constant.

We have not once sought to be one in a family, to be a friend among friends, to be a worker among workers, to be a useful member of society.

Always we tried to struggle to the top of the heap, or to hide underneath it. This self-centered behavior blocked a partnership relation with any one of those about us. Of true brotherhood we had small comprehension.

source: Alcoholics Anonymous, 12 X 12, Step 4, page 53

Thy Will (Not Mine) Be Done

I love this song! I just lost the “love of my life” on Sunday, Feb. 4, 2018, and I am consoled because of my faith, and because he is no longer suffering. I have learned through thirty years of recovery that God’s will is better for me than my own.
Hillary Scott’s lovely music has run through my head continually since then.
In our Big Book, it mentions “Thy Will (Not Mine) Be Done”.  I have been hearing in my head all month long “Thy Will Be Done”. 
I have chosen it as the theme of our 68th. anniversary this year.  My sponsor, Birdie Mae Neff, was the first woman in our group, that helped to start our group.
 “Every day is a day we must carry a vision of God’s will into all of our activities. How can I best serve Thee–Thy will (not mine) be done.”  source: Alcoholics Anonymous, Chapter 6, page 85 

 

FROG = Fully Relying On God

FROG

I heard this in my Al-Anon meeting. I love it! We made it through Hurricane Harvey, and are finally home; our wish was for my husband to be home before Christmas, and God granted our wish. “Fully Relying On God”.

Belinda Ealy Reeves, You just gave me the idea for my blog. I got a frog for my Al-Anon birthday last year. Thanks Belinda Ealy Reeves for being there to keep the groups going in Mineral Wells, TX. My favorite for AA is “One Day at a Time”. 😘

 

Celebrating Thirty One Years of Recovery in Al-Anon! One Day at a Time!

letitbeginwithmealanon

I can hardly believe that it has been thirty one years ago today, that I began my road to happy destiny in Al-Anon. I dragged into my first meeting depressed, pissed, suicidal, homicidal, full of self pity and resentments toward others. I came to “get him sober” yet I found out that I had no power over him, and that I was the only one that I had any power over. Of course, I did not believe them. I thought, “But you don’t know me”. He will stop for me. I am younger than him, sexy, and he really loves me.

JUST FOR TODAY - AL-ANON

Long story short, he did not stop for me, but I found what I needed for me…serenity, peace, and love. I found people that “loved me, wanted me, and needed me” for free.

Nine months going to Al-Anon and still being miserable and doing all of the DON’Ts instead of the DO’s, my sponsor recommended that I go to AA, and find out more about alcoholism. I continued to drink at my husband, because I thought, “I am not the alcoholic…he is”.  I agreed that I might check it out. 

After three years of my attending meetings and working my steps with my sponsor, I finally had had enough of his drunkenness and chaos. So, I chose to divorce him, because I could not live in the insanity anymore. I was beginning to feel better and I decided that I wanted recovery even if he did not. I had spent my whole life thinking of others, trying to help others, and in the process, I did not lose me, because you have to have an “identity” in order to lose one, and I had never had one. I found out that I was Co-Dependent. I read up on Co-Dependency and I went to therapy too.

Let it begin with me.When anyone anywhere reaches out for help, we want the hand of Al-Anon and Ala-Teen to be there.

I celebrated thirty years of sobriety and serenity in January 2017.  God has used me for thirty years to “carry the message of recovery” to many others.  I share my recovery to those that “want” it, because we can only help those that “want” recovery and are “willing to go to any lengths” to achieve sobriety and serenity.  Very few have chosen to stay sober come hell or high water, no matter what, because we have “free will”, and they are looking for an “easier, softer way”.  I chose the “harder, right way”.

Bill and Lois Wilson

 

Seeing God In Nature

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“In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.” – Genesis 1:1

Where is your spot? Where is that place that you go and no matter how crazy and chaotic your life has been, that place that will bring you peace and help you to center?

Some people find that place in the mountains. The awesome grandeur of majestic mountains shows God’s power and creativity and it reminds us that the problems of earth can certainly be handled by God.  

Some find a sense of peace and perspective in when they are near the ocean. Again the massive body of water and the consistency of the tide and waves brings peace and comfort. 

Some others enjoy a meadow setting; still others love the varied creativity of the woods. 

Regardless of where the spot is where you feel calmed and closer to God, it is a place where you can appreciate God’s creation… His creativity, His power, His strength and His love. Being in this spot in creation gives you a God moment.  

My serenity spot’s are all of those above. I especially love waterfalls and the woods. I love my jungle. I love trees. My backyard is my jungle, and it is not perfect, but it is my gift from God. There are weeds, and roses have thorns, but I focus on what I have instead of what I don’t have today. I can find peace and serenity in the bird’s singing and all of the greenery cropping up in the Springtime, my favorite time of year. It represents ‘New Life” to me. 

Nature is the art of God. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson 

Prosperous Trees

Third Step Prayer

third-step-prayer

Third Step Prayer. It reminds me that I have a new employer…God…and that He will keep me safe if I try to help his children…to find their way back to Him. All I have to do is to “share my experience, my strength, and my hope…and He will do the rest.

 

The Wisdom of Nature

EXPLORINGtheLATERAL

Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.  ~Lao Tzu

Webs


There is a pleasure in the pathless woods,
There is a rapture on the lonely shore,
There is society, where none intrudes,
By the deep sea, and music in its roar:
I love not man the less, but Nature more.
~George Gordon, Lord Byron, Childe Harold’s Pilgrimage

DewOnPurpleFlower


The poetry of the earth is never dead.  ~John Keats

SandyPool


In wilderness I sense the miracle of life, and behind it our scientific accomplishments fade to trivia.  ~Charles A. Lindbergh, Life, 22 December 1967

SunshineThroughSnakeskin


Climb the mountains and get their good tidings.  Nature’s peace will flow into you as sunshine flows into trees.  The winds will blow their own freshness into you, and the storms their energy, while cares will drop off like autumn leaves.  ~John Muir

TheWebbedPath

Man’s heart away from nature becomes hard.  ~Standing Bear

TheWebOfLife

How strange that Nature does not knock…

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In The Woods

EXPLORINGtheLATERAL

“There is pleasure in the pathless woods, there is rapture in the lonely shore, there is society where none intrudes, by the deep sea, and music in its roar; I love not Man the less, but Nature more.” ~George Byron

“Earth and sky, woods and fields, lakes and rivers, the mountain and the sea, are excellent schoolmasters, and teach some of us more than we can ever learn from books.” ~John Lubbock

“In some mysterious way woods have never seemed to me to be static things. In physical terms, I move through them; yet in metaphysical ones, they seem to move through me.” ~John Fowles

“You are welcome to your intellectual pastimes and books and art and newspapers; welcome, too, to your bars and your whisky that only makes me ill. Here am I in the forest, quite content.” ~Knut Hamsun

“I sat staring, staring, staring – half lost, learning…

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Pauses…

PAUSES

There is no music during a musical rest, but the rest is part of the making of the music. In the melody of our life, the music is separated here and there by rests. During those rests, we foolishly believe we have come to the end of the song.

God sends us time of forced leisure by allowing sickness, disappointed plans, and frustrated efforts. He brings a sudden pause in the choral hymns of our lives, and we lament that our voices must be silent.

We grieve that our part is missing in the music that continually rises to the ear of our Creator. Yet how does a musician read the rest? He counts the break with unwavering precision and plays his next note with confidence, as if no pause were ever there.

God does not write the music of our lives without a plan. Our part is to learn the tune and not be discouraged during the rests. They are not to be slurred over or omitted, nor used to destroy the melody or to change the key.

If we will only look up, God Himself will count the time for us. With our eyes on Him, our next note will be full and clear. If we sorrowfully say to ourselves, “There is no music in a rest,” let us not forget that the rest is part of the making of the music. The process is often slow and painful in this life, yet how patiently God works to teach us! And how long He waits for us to learn the lesson! —John Ruskin

 

My Friend, George Edwin Bray, In Loving Memory

Obituary of George Edwin Bray

George Edwin Bray was born April 27, 1943, to Mary Frances Shawver and Mack Gerald Bray in Mineral Wells, Texas. His early years were in Lubbock, Texas. The family moved to Houston in 1959 where he attended Lee High school.

George made the decision during his high school years to become a nurse. He provided care & comfort to patients at the Heights Hospital for thirty-three years where he developed a passion for working with geriatric patients. He cared for Alzheimer’s patients and home health care until finally retiring in 2005. That began his many years of volunteer service.

He was a Cancer Survivor of more than 12 years.

He was active until his death in several community organizations in Houston. More than half his life mentored & comforted others. He attended Uvalde Baptist Church and Resurrection Metropolitan Community Church.

George is preceded in death by his Father Mack Gerald Bray, his Mother Mary F. Shawver McCormick and Step Father Floyd McCormick, Grand Parents George A. Shawver I & Mary Reynolds Shawver Carr, and life partner of 40 years Jim Mosley.

He is survived by cousins, John Wayland & wife Jolene of Roanoke, Texas, Glenda Wayland of Ft Worth Texas, Robert Wayland & wife Maricela of Maryland. George A Shawver of Bedford, Texas, Carol Shawver Vincell & husband Roger of Waxahachie, TX., and cousins Kyle, Ted & Claudia Freeman. and God son, Todd Salter his sister Kera and their parents Don and Shirly Salter, and many close loving friends throughout the Houston area.

Officiating Rev. Shawn Finch and Rev. Kristen Orion assisting

Pall Bearers: Ghislain Sai Yengo, Jim Fleshner, Mark Roop, Victor Chavez, and Herbert Wen

source: Forest Park – Westheimer Cemetery, 12800 Westheimer Road, Houston, Texas

https://www.dignitymemorial.com/obituaries/houston-tx/george-bray-7995191

SERENITY PRAYER

We love you and miss you, George, and congratulations on your 34 years of recovery. May you rest in peace. Love, Sally and Garry Johnson, Sr.

 

THE GREAT FALLING AWAY AND THE GREAT HARVEST

Mario Murillo Ministries

What you are about to read explains my blogs better than anything else.  These blogs which rain down rebuke on the unrighteous leader, do—with equal fervency—prophesy to the righteous core who have held to their integrity.  That is because—with atom of my being—I know an amazing act of God is on the horizon.

Day after day, I have written the burden the Lord has placed upon me.  Often, the words have been directed at certain leaders.  The messages have targeted shallowness, compromise, hypocrisy, and gross negligence.

Gross negligence, because it wasn’t just what they did that made them despicable—it was when they did it.  They thrashed about in false success—leaving the flock unguarded—as Satan unleashed his most destructive assault on the church and the nation.  That is a profound accusation…but I stand by it.

They made a conscious decision to exchange their calling for temporal success.  They knew they were…

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BALANCE

BALANCE

BALANCE:

B = be who you are, be the best you

A = attitude, ask

L = live, love, learn, laugh

A = action, ask

N = never give up, say NO when necessary

C = change, choose health and recovery

E = everyday, everyone

I Cross My Heart – George Strait – Our Song

Johnson Family Genealogy

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Reunited with my first love from Jacinto City, Harris, Texas. Happy for the first time in years. We waited for 54 years. He is a widower and I am a widow. God has given us another chance to be happy. You never outgrow the need to be loved. God has answered our prayers. We are ecstatic!

Life happened and we both married others, but we were never out of our thoughts. We never stopped loving each other. God took our spouses, but God is good, and he placed our “first loves” back into our lives. Miracles do happen. I prayed for this kind of love all of my life, and finally God gave us each other to love.

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Don’t Ever by Laine Parsons

BEAUTIFUL GOLDEN BEACH

This afternoon, I was starting to feel depressed again, and was looking in my closet for some DVD’s and a journal of mine jumped out at me. Most of my stuff was flooded with Hurricane Harvey. Pissed off, I picked it up and was going to throw it back into the closet or in the trash.

For some reason, I guess to decide whether to keep or throw it since it was from 1991, I opened it up and God knew just what I needed to be reminded of!

My poem “Don’t Ever” was in it. Steve S. gave me a copy of it years ago, and it was so special that I saved it. God knew that it was exactly what I needed to read. So, I am sharing it with you all.

“Don’t ever try to understand everything

Somethings will just never make sense,

Don’t ever be reluctant to show your feelings

When your happy give into it,

When your not live with it

Don’t ever be afraid to try to make things better you might be surprised at the results

Don’t ever take the weight of the world on your shoulders,

Don’t ever feel threatened by the future take life “One Day at a Time”, 

Don’t ever feel guilty about the past what’s done is done learn from your mistakes that you have made

Don’t ever feel that you are alone. There’s always someone there for you to reach out to,

Don’t ever forget that you can achieve so many of the things you can imagine,

Don’t ever stop loving,

Don’t ever stop believing,

Don’t ever stop dreaming your dreams.”

Luv ya’ll, “Downtown” Sally Brown, Feb. 2, 1991

 

George Strait – I Cross My Heart

Sally and Garry Ellis Johnson, Matagorda, TX, April 1, 2018.jpg

My first love when I was 12. Supposedly, puppy love.

We are both widowed and God has put us back into each others life’s. We both have seen a lot of losses and sadness over the years.

We are both retired and near 65. He says that he has always loved me, and I feel the same.

Now, is our time. God’s will is good. We are so happy, after years of caring for our ill spouses. We are never too old for love. We are blessed to be able to spend the rest of our days together, instead of alone.  Thank you, God.

Positive Affirmations

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What Are Affirmations? Affirmations are an antidote to all the negative messages we’ve been feeding ourselves for years. Working with affirmations doesn’t mean we ignore our problems. That’s Denial. We need to identify problems, but we need to empower solutions. Using Affirmations means replacing negative messages with positive ones; as these positive messages become embedded in our subconscious, they will begin to manifest themselves in our lives. We change what we say so we can change what we see.

Rewriting my story about God

I love it, so I wanted to share it with my followers!

Pam Grout

“It is not until our image of God is corrected that we begin to understand how we sabotage our own happiness.”—Michele Longo-O’Donnell
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Before we commence with today’s festivities, I want to answer a question that was posted on my blog yesterday.

Could you give some suggestions on how to forgive the old story?

The simple answer, of course, is quit thinking about it, but that’s rather flip and perhaps not helpful.

So it came to me this morning as one my own old stories was playing out in my head that: a) I had cemented this “problem” into the plaster of my life by believing it was absolutely true and b) that an alternative story (in fact a gajillion other stories) were also true.

And that maybe that field of the other gajillion stories (where an alternative story could be true and a whole different thing could happen) is actually…

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