Leaving Your Own Footprint…Your Legacy


I want to remembered for the “good” that I did or tried to do. I want to continue the legacy of “sharing my experience, strength, and hope” to the still suffering. I want to honor those who came before me and carried the message to me for free. I can reach those who do not feel comfortable in church, like me. AA meetings brought me to God! I did not dress the way I should, I did not talk like I should, and I quit going to some churches that acted as if they were “high and mighty” or wanted me to be “perfect”. 

My sponsor told me years ago to never replace my program with church, and she is so right.  I have seen many get sober through the program, and then drift away to relapse, die, or get too “high and mighty” to help the new person still suffering and still seeking a way out. Also, they live in EGO = Easing God Out of their lives and tell people that they do not need AA or the meetings, the Steps, or a Sponsor like everyone else. And…they use the excuse that AA does not work for them, BULL! You either have found God or you have not!! If you found God, then you can do anything.

If you want what we have, then you will do what we did. Go to meetings, get a sponsor, work the Steps, and “carry the message” of hope, otherwise you will only “carry the disease”. 

My mentor told me years ago that his favorite quote was, “I Stand By The Door”. I love it too. It reminds me to not get too good or too perfect, as some church people try to do. I do not “play God” or preach at people, because I have learned that it only serves to push people away and does not help them. I cannot save everyone, but I can save someone, and keep me sober in the process. 

I had been getting out of my service work. I still sponsored ladies, but I needed more. I wanted to share some of what my sponsors have blessed me with. I DO have a lot to share with anyone who wants to listen. I am beginning a Big Book Study @ 7pm on Tuesdays @ the Industrial Group on First Street, Galena Park, Texas. All are welcome. 

I am Me! God loves me just as I am. 


I Stand By The Door

The Poem: “So I Stay Near The Door”

[I have received so many inquiries about the poem, its title, its wording, and where to find it, that this rendition is made available for your blessing. Further extensive comments on Sam Shoemaker can be found it my title “New Light on Alcoholism: God, Sam Shoemaker, and A.A.” (http://www.dickb.com/newlight.shtml)]

“I stay near the door.
I neither go too far in, nor stay too far out,
The door is the most important door in the world—
It is the door through which men walk when they find God.
There’s no use my going way inside, and staying there,
When so many are still outside, and they, as much as I,
Crave to know where the door is.
And all that so many ever find
Is only the wall where a door ought to be.
They creep along the wall like blind men.
With outstretched, groping hands,
Feeling for a door, knowing there must be a door,
Yet they never find it . . .
So I stay near the door.

“The most tremendous thing in the world
Is for men to find that door—the door to God.
The most important thing any man can do
Is to take hold of one of those blind, groping hands,
And put it on the latch—the latch that only clicks
And opens to the man’s own touch.
Men die outside that door, as starving beggars die
On cold nights in cruel cities in the dead of winter—
Die for want of what is within their grasp.
They live, on the other side of it—live because they have found it.
Nothing else matters compared to helping them find it,
And open it, and walk in, and find Him . . .
So I stay near the door.

“Go in, great saints, go all the way in—
Go way down into the cavernous cellars,
And way up into the spacious attics—
In a vast, roomy house, this house where God is.
Go into the deepest of hidden casements,
Of withdrawal, of silence, of sainthood.
Some must inhabit those inner rooms,
And know the depths and heights of God,
And call outside to the rest of us how wonderful it is.
Sometimes I take a deeper look in,
Sometimes venture a little farther;
But my place seems closer to the opening . . .
So I stay near the door.

“The people too far in do not see how near these are
To leaving—preoccupied with the wonder of it all.
Somebody must watch for those who have entered the door,
But would like to run away. So for them, too,
I stay near the door.

“I admire the people who go way in.
But I wish they would not forget how it was
Before they got in. Then they would be able to help
The people who have not even found the door,
Or the people who want to run away again from God.
You can go in too deeply, and stay in too long,
And forget the people outside the door.
As for me, I shall take my old accustomed place,
Near enough to God to hear Him, and know He is there,
But not so far from men as not to hear them,
And remember they are there too.
Where? Outside the door—
Thousands of them, millions of them.
But—more important for me—
One of them, two of them, ten of them,
Whose hands I am intended to put on the latch,
So I shall stay by the door and wait
For those who seek it.
‘I had rather be a door-keeper . . .’
So I stay near the door.”

Just For Today…Live In Today…One Day At A Time

Image result for live for today

Most of my life, I never lived in today. I lived in my resentments from the past, or my fears for the future, and as a result I was miserable.  I have learned to do the best that I can with what God has given me, and to stop beating myself up for not being perfect and to not allow others to make me feel inferior for not knowing all the answers. I am not God and I am human, therefore prone to fail sometimes, but God loves me as I am. I do not have to be perfect. It has been hard for me to continue to “live in today”, but today is the only day that have to live. Instead of worrying about what will happen tomorrow I have to stay in what can I do today and what is my responsibility.  God is my “higher power” and all I have to do is to follow His will for me, and when I do my life is so much more serene and peaceful.

Husband Finds Note From Late Wife Reminding Him to Smile

Originally posted on TIME:

Days after passing away, Billie Breland is still telling her husband what to do.

After 60 years of marriage, Billie got sick late last year and was hospitalized in Cleveland, Mississippi. Her husband, Jimmy, sat by her side every day until she passed last month.

A few days later, Jimmy came across a note she left in her checkbook for him to find. Their grandson, Cliff Sims, posted the note to Facebook.

“Please don’t cry because I died! Smile because I lived! Know that I’m in a happy place! Know that we will meet again! I’ll see you there!” the note read.

“I’ll never forget the look in my granddad’s eyes when he showed the rest of our family the note – some tears, but a lot of smiles, too,” Sims told The Huffington Post.

“That note will be a source of comfort and a reminder that love…

View original 37 more words

No One Can Make You Feel Inferior Without Your Consent


No One Can Make You Feel Inferior Without Your Consent, and that is a very true statement. In my youth, I never felt the same as everyone else. I thought that I was adopted, and I thought, “How awful, to not have a mother and daddy and be all alone.” I grew up with this “fear of being abandoned”. I was a people-pleaser and I would do just about anything that others asked me to, in order to not be abandoned. Then I would be miserable because I was living someone else’s life, and I bounced from ecstasy to depression. I was “other centered” instead of “self centered”.

Being “self centered” was being taught that it was selfish and bad, NOT true! I have to take care of me in order to help others. I think of others, but I concentrate on what I can change in me and I stopped trying to “Change, Control, or Cure” anyone else. I learned that one the hard way…several marriages, and a lot of years of “blood, sweat, and tears. I thank God everyday for ACA, Al-Anon, AA, and all the twelve step programs. I learned that I have a Choice and I thought, “Why in the hell would I choose to be miserable?” 

My program taught me that if I don’t get recovery for me that, “I cannot transmit something that I don’t have”.  

It took me years of recovery, to learn and really believe that I have the power to accept or reject other’s opinions of me. It is so wonderful to be in control of how I feel or allow others to tell me how I feel. I was told, “I cannot believe that you feel that way!”  

Today, I know that is “shaming” and I don’t allow others to Blame me, Shame me, or Control me. My sponsor told me years ago that it is none of my business what others thought of me, and only God can judge me not people. 

My Spiritual Journey


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