Forgive But Don’t Forget! Don’t Allow Unacceptable Behavior!

I love that song! I love Matthew West.

We do need to forgive, but when I was trying to find some peace while married to the PSYCHO, my sponsor told me to “forgive” but do NOT “forget”! He just kept telling me that I just had to accept it and forgive! I forgave him and took him back, I don’t know how many times.

The SOLUTION was for me to “let go and let God” have him.

I had to accept that I could not change him, but my God loved me and didn’t want me to live with unacceptable behavior. Use the Serenity Prayer. We have to Accept what we cannot change, but we must Change what we can! ABUSE is unacceptable, and I did not want my son to grow up thinking that it was alright to Abuse women. If I stayed, and allowed it to continue, then I was “enabling” him to continue to Abuse me.

In my recovery, I have forgiven everyone who has harmed me, even him. The difference is that I would not continue to allow him to Abuse me.  It has been twelve years now, and he is still the same miserable, hateful, angry, lying, using self. I pray for him that is all that is required of me. When I let go and let God have him, God put the “love of my life” into my life and we married seven years ago. He would die before he ever hurt anyone else, especially me. I am happy and proud to be his wife.