I had to learn how to set boundaries, and start saying, NO when I needed to. I had to relearn some things that were not benefiting or helping me, and were keeping me in the Victim mode. I had been taught to not be selfish, and think about the “starving children in Africa“, etc..I was taught by some self righteous Christians, that I should not be selfish, thank God for the twelve steps, I learned a new way to live. Healthy, Happy, and Independent. I did not become heartless, I just had to learn to start being true to mine own self and needs. One of our quotes to live by is: “To Thy Own Self Be True”.
I had became Co-Dependent and depended on others too much. I almost allowed the Takers to suck me dry!! When I reached the point of Depression and thoughts of Suicide, I decided that I either had to “let go” or die, and that I must take care of me first or I was of no use to anyone else. I learned that my needs are important too, and that it was OK to take care of me, and that I did NOT have to give up me in order to be loved. I had to learn how to have relationships with God #1, Myself #2, and then Others #3.
People who sit back and whine about their life’s and how everybody “done, done them wrong”, are playing the Victim, and they are not helping themselves to grow or succeed in life. They stay stuck and angry and are allowing their resentments to “eat them up”. They are a drain on society. I chose to take control of my own life, and change what I could about me. I learned that it was NOT my job to fix the rest of the world, and if they wanted what I had then they had to be willing to go to any lengths to get it. And…that there are NO free rides! I chose to become a Victor instead of a Victim.
Today by the Grace of a loving and forgiving God, I have Peace and Serenity.