Are You Helping or Hurting = Enabling??

I am re-posting a earlier post that I hope everyone who needs to see it does. I pray to “help” not “hurt”.

I woke up today thinking about the topic of “hurting” or “helping” again today. I have been praying for God to “direct my thinking” and to help me to share what I need to share to try to help others find peace and serenity like I did. I am again dealing with trying to “help” not “hurt” a close family member that I love dearly and only want to help.

My natural instinct is to try and “fix”, “control”, or “cure” them. I admit that I hate being powerless! And…that reminded me that~~I have no right to try and do my will instead of God’s will. I wanted to fix the world, but I learned that was God’s job not mine. Thank God for AA, AL-ANON and all the twelve step programs.

“Acceptance is the answer to my problem. When I stopped living in the problem, and started living in the answer, the problem went away.” (AA Big Book, page 448) ~~the quote out of the book saved my sanity and serenity many times in the last Twenty Six (26) years. 

Sally's Serenity Spots

This close to Mother’s Day, and working in the field that I do, I have really been remembering how I was taught to be a Caretaker. My Mother raised me to be a loving, kind, unselfish, independent, strong, and moral person. I grew up living in my dream world, where everyone loved everybody, and there were no mean, hateful, and abusive people.

I have tried to help others all my life. I married an abusive and unfaithful man, and tried to fix him. Of course, it did not work, because we cannot Control, Change, or Cure anyone. I had to learn the difference between helping or hurting. I had to learn the meaning of “Enabling“. Enabling is doing for someone else, what they could do for themselves. If we continue to “enable” someone, then it serves to make them irresponsible, and not be responsible for their own…

View original post 144 more words

Advertisements