Am I Acting Or Reacting? Just Because They Are Angry Must I Be?


Am I Acting Or Reacting?  “Just Because They Are Angry Must I Be?”

This is taken from the Al-Anon book, Courage to Change;

“Many of us come to Al-Anon confused. We are so focused on our alcoholic loved ones that may not be able to see where they leave off and we begin. We’ve lost our sense of what is appropriate. How can we distinguish between acceptable and unacceptable behavior when we don’t even know what we want or need?

[It talks about Step 4 here, about an inventory, and what our values are or need to be and my new values of what I will accept and not accept]

Where in the past I have allowed unacceptable behavior, I now can choose a different response. I must consistently do what I say I am going to do. Today I have the courage and faith to be true to myself. whether or not others like or agree with me. I must remember that announcing my new ways to others is not nearly as important as knowing what my own limits are and act accordingly.

Today’s Reminder
I will remember that knowing my boundaries does not mean forcing others to change; it means that I know my own limits and take care of myself by respecting them. The focus, today, is on me.”

Before recovery, the answer would be yes, but today I have the freedom to choose whether I want to allow others to suck me into their shit or not, so the answer is no.

Remember we DO have a choice! Sometimes I have to physically remove myself to not react. The other person usually gets pissed off if I don’t react and get angry with them. If I want serenity, I must accept the fact that I have no power over others and cannot change them, but I do not have to react to them or get angry too. I pray for them and turn them over to God. 

Today, I choose serenity over chaos. I do NOT have to accept unacceptable behavior. I am God’s child, and I do have a choice. 

“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. The tongue of the wise commends knowledge, but the mouth of the fool gushes folly.” ~~Proverbs 15:1-2