No One Can Make You Feel Inferior Without Your Consent, and that is a very true statement. In my youth, I never felt the same as everyone else. I thought that I was adopted, and I thought, “How awful, to not have a mother and daddy and be all alone.” I grew up with this “fear of being abandoned”. I was a people-pleaser and I would do just about anything that others asked me to, in order to not be abandoned. Then I would be miserable because I was living someone else’s life, and I bounced from ecstasy to depression. I was “other centered” instead of “self centered”.
Being “self centered” was being taught that it was selfish and bad, NOT true! I have to take care of me in order to help others. I think of others, but I concentrate on what I can change in me and I stopped trying to “Change, Control, or Cure” anyone else. I learned that one the hard way…several marriages, and a lot of years of “blood, sweat, and tears. I thank God everyday for ACA, Al-Anon, AA, and all the twelve step programs. I learned that I have a Choice and I thought, “Why in the hell would I choose to be miserable?”
My program taught me that if I don’t get recovery for me that, “I cannot transmit something that I don’t have”.
It took me years of recovery, to learn and really believe that I have the power to accept or reject other’s opinions of me. It is so wonderful to be in control of how I feel or allow others to tell me how I feel. I was told, “I cannot believe that you feel that way!”
Today, I know that is “shaming” and I don’t allow others to Blame me, Shame me, or Control me. My sponsor told me years ago that it is none of my business what others thought of me, and only God can judge me not people.