The Number One Thing That I Want to Convey to Others is That No One Can Force Anyone Else to Seek Recovery No Matter How Much You Love Them


OMG, everyday I am more grateful for the many blessings, that God has put in my life as a result of working my Al-Anon program for thirty years.

God did not promise us that we would not have problems, just that He would help us cope with them by giving us the strength and courage to live through them, or solve them. Just because I have thirty years of recovery does not mean that I am immune to “life problems”.  

The number one thing that I want to convey to others is that no one can force anyone else to seek recovery no matter how much they love them.  

Until I got miserable enough to seek help, I was not motivated to change and do the “footwork”, therefore I could not grow or improve. Therefore I stayed stuck and miserable. I believed that there was nothing that I could do to change my situation or that I had any choice to make better decisions. 

I have been dealing with a lot of problems lately. My husband had his Taver (Heart Valve) surgery on Friday, May 13, 2016. The surgery went wonderful. 

We were really worried about whether he would come out of the surgery. Two years ago, there was no help for someone with CHF. Dr. Biswajit Kar, MD –  Cardiovascular Disease Specialist at Memorial Hermann, in Houston, Texas. He was the only one that could do the job. Ten years ago, my husband would not have survived his sixtieth birthday without the surgery. 

We had prayed for God to be with us, and that we wanted God’s will. Of course, we wanted him to live. So, one more time God showed us that He was still with us.  Len survived the surgery, and is recuperating in the Cardiac Intensive Care unit. I do have hope for the future, and he should be able to come home soon. But my husband has to be the one to do the Cardiac Rehab.  God, knows that I cannot do it for him. He has to be the one to do the “footwork”. Maybe he will do it, we will see. I know that all I can do is to pray for him. 

“In recovering from a dysfunctional family system, I have to pay particular attention to the “me-versus-them” thinking and how it immobilized me.  As an adult, I still sometimes lose myself in certain relationships (especially my husband). When I look at it this way, I am reminded that I don’t have to lose myself again,  in the disease or in relationships.” source: Hope for Today, Al-Anon Family Group, 2002