But it is from our twisted relations with family, friends, and society at large that many of us have suffered the most

12 Characteristics of a Healthy Relationship

But it is from our twisted relations with family, friends, and society at large that many of us have suffered the most. We have been especially stupid and stubborn about them.

The primary fact that we fail to recognize is our total inability to form a true partnership with another human being.

Our egomania digs two disastrous pitfalls.

Either we insist upon dominating the people we know, or we depend upon them far too much.

If we lean too heavily on people, they will sooner or later fail us, for they are human, too, and CANNOT possibly meet our incessant demands. In this way our insecurity grows and festers.

When we habitually try to manipulate others to our own willful desires, they revolt, and resist us heavily.

Then we develop hurt feelings, a sense of persecution, and a desire to retaliate. As we redouble our efforts at control, and continue to fail, our suffering becomes acute and constant.

We have not once sought to be one in a family, to be a friend among friends, to be a worker among workers, to be a useful member of society.

Always we tried to struggle to the top of the heap, or to hide underneath it. This self-centered behavior blocked a partnership relation with any one of those about us. Of true brotherhood we had small comprehension.

source: Alcoholics Anonymous, 12 X 12, Step 4, page 53

Thy Will (Not Mine) Be Done

I love this song! I just lost the “love of my life” on Sunday, Feb. 4, 2018, and I am consoled because of my faith, and because he is no longer suffering. I have learned through thirty years of recovery that God’s will is better for me than my own.
Hillary Scott’s lovely music has run through my head continually since then.
In our Big Book, it mentions “Thy Will (Not Mine) Be Done”.  I have been hearing in my head all month long “Thy Will Be Done”. 
I have chosen it as the theme of our 68th. anniversary this year.  I will be chairing our meeting for the first time ever. My sponsor, Birdie, was the first woman in our group, that helped to start our group. I am honored to be asked.
 “Every day is a day we must carry a vision of God’s will into all of our activities. How can I best serve Thee–Thy will (not mine) be done.”  source: Alcoholics Anonymous, Chapter 6, page 85 


The Real Difference Between Love And Lust

Happy Valentine's Day

Hope that everyone enjoys their Valentine’s Day. Even those who are missing their loved ones taken from them. Remember God loves you no matter what else is going in your life. I have had many good Valentine’s Days, and some bad ones. But even now, as I age, and my loved one is gone, he still lives with me in my heart. I am grateful for that. Today, I live in reality, not fantasy. Flowers, candy, or whatever, does not guarantee love nor can they make me happy. People who love me and are there for me, are what’s important to me. Spending money on your loved one is not as important as loving, appreciating, and being there for your special one. All of the material shit in the world cannot create happiness, only LOVE can do that.😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍


The Real Difference between Love and Lust

Are you uncertain on matters of love and lust? You are not alone in this. Many sensible people like you, are also caught-up in the confusion. Here are some shocking details on the same….

Sexual attraction is known to often obliterate general human intuition and common sense even in the seemingly sensible and principled individuals. Lust is hell-bent on procreation. It is fueled by the primal desire to have sex. At least we can blame this on our brains for now.

Studies backed by MRI scans indicate that during lust-phase, the human brain is quite like that on drugs. The same area of the brain lights-up with a fix of cocaine as when one is in lust. Love on the other hand is the right opposite of lust. Even with all that in mind, clear-cut distinction between love and lust remains elusive to…

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FROG = Fully Relying On God


I heard this in my Al-Anon meeting. I love it! We made it through Hurricane Harvey, and are finally home; our wish was for my husband to be home before Christmas, and God granted our wish. “Fully Relying On God”.

Belinda Ealy Reeves, You just gave me the idea for my blog. I got a frog for my Al-Anon birthday last year. Thanks Belinda Ealy Reeves for being there to keep the groups going in Mineral Wells, TX. My favorite for AA is “One Day at a Time”. 😘


Did You Know That Whatever You Feed Grows?


Do you want “Good” in your life? Now, who would not, we think to ourselves.

Choices….if you want “Good” to increase…do and say good things…and …notice what someone does right. Notice what is Right and it increases…it Grows.

I promise if you look at others and notice their good qualities and praise them for it instead of only noticing the bad qualities that we all have…more good. I grew up with alcoholism along with negativity, depression, anger, shame, blaming, and making excuses for their bad choices. I choose “Good”, I choose GOD. 

If I focus on others negative all the time and never notice what they do right or focus on their flaws, then I make me and them both miserable. When I let them know their “Good” qualities and thank them for the “Good” things that they do or say to me, then we both feel better, and we feel love, wanted, needed.

Please, try to not always just complain, criticize, or blame others all the time. It helps no one! In my opinion, anger, resentment, and all other negative things in our life are the “Weeds” in our garden and the twelve steps are the inventory of “good” and “bad”.  BALANCE one of my favorite words. A BALANCE sheet of yourself. Then move on to the Fifth Step.

Focus on others good and make it a point to let them know that you appreciate it. Focus on the Solution instead of the Problem. Help NOT Hurt. “Bloom where you are planted.”

Whatever you feed will grow


My Favorite Vacation Spot, New Braunfels, Texas

Texas Tudors' Blog

New Braunfels, TexasLCM, Guadalupe River, New Braunfels, TX, 1980One of my favorite vacation pics of my Dad, Louis Mancill, my sister, Phyllis and Danny Hyden and Daniel and Stefanie Hyden, Guadalupe River, New Braunfels, Texas, about 1980

new-braunfels-texas-schlitterbaunNew Braunfels, Texas, CourthouseNew Braunfels, Texas, Gruene Hall, Oldest Dance Hall in Texas

Gruene Historical District is located within the city limits of New Braunfels. Founded by the sons of settlers Ernst and Antoinette Gruene, the community had a bank, post office, school, general store, lumberyard, gristmill, dance hall, and cotton gin. It also had access to two railways for shipping cotton bales. Its most famous attribute was the dance hall, a family activity in those days. Due to the failure of the cotton crop from boll weevils, and the failure of the banks after 1929, commercial activity slowed to a crawl. This village is now a Nationally Registered Historic District where one can dine in the ruins of the original gristmill or enjoy live music at Gruene Hall. The community may…

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It is a really sad day in America when those who try to feed our hungry children are persecuted. Down is up, and Evil and Selfishness are up, and are perceived as Good. It tells us in the Bible, that we are supposed to take care of our own First, then try to help others! In America there are those who have tried to help feed the homeless, and they have been fined and threatened with jail, now that is just Un-American and Un-Christian!! I thank GOD everyday that He answered my prayers and sent us President Trump to help us take back our country from the Demons!

My God, we have hungry and homeless here in America yet our Crooked politicians are trying to help the Illegals and Criminals!

Obama the Terrorist was feeding the ENEMY = satanic muslims! Allah is NOT God! Their allah is the Devil!


Texas Tudors' Blog

if-you-cant-be-kind-be-quietI grew up thinking that “Why can’t we all just get along?” “Why can’t everyone just be nice?” I was brought up to be kind, loving, and obedient. I was a shy, insecure, and little girl, and all I wanted was to be loved, wanted, and needed. I was nice to people–so some thought that  I was weak.

My psycho Ex, thought that he could lie to me, use me, and abuse me; and that I would just lay down and take it. He didn’t realize that I had a strong faith in my God, and that I had already learned the hard way– that some people with “street-thinking” believed that anyone who was nice and kind–were weak and could be taken advantage of.

I was blessed with a strong support system–my God, my family, my friends, my therapist, my sponsors, and my “program for living”.

No one is worth…

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The Age of Innocence

Texas Tudors' Blog

Sally Ann Frederick, age 6 months, June 1954The picture is adorable. I was a really, sweet, loving, adorable, and kind little girl. I loved everyone, and believed that if everyone would just “be nice” to each other then life would be wonderful. I was an idealist.

But…that was not reality…and everyone was not nice. I was taught that we were all God’s children and we were loved. I thought that the “good guys” always won, and that you should be honest, kind, and loving to everyone.

I loved to read, and I lived through my books. I always had a diary or journal. Writing always gave me a release and helped me to sort my feelings out. 

I loved playing house, dancing, singing, walking barefoot in the cool grass, and climbing trees. Every summer we had a pool in our backyard, and Daddy cooked a lot of barbecue. He made the best chicken with his homemade barbecue sauce, and Mother…

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Celebrating Thirty One Years of Recovery in Al-Anon! One Day at a Time!


I can hardly believe that it has been thirty one years ago today, that I began my road to happy destiny in Al-Anon. I dragged into my first meeting depressed, pissed, suicidal, homicidal, full of self pity and resentments toward others. I came to “get him sober” yet I found out that I had no power over him, and that I was the only one that I had any power over. Of course, I did not believe them. I thought, “But you don’t know me”. He will stop for me. I am younger than him, sexy, and he really loves me.


Long story short, he did not stop for me, but I found what I needed for me…serenity, peace, and love. I found people that “loved me, wanted me, and needed me” for free.

Nine months going to Al-Anon and still being miserable and doing all of the DON’Ts instead of the DO’s, my sponsor recommended that I go to AA, and find out more about alcoholism. I continued to drink at my husband, because I thought, “I am not the alcoholic…he is”.  I agreed that I might check it out. 

After three years of my attending meetings and working my steps with my sponsor, I finally had had enough of his drunkenness and chaos. So, I chose to divorce him, because I could not live in the insanity anymore. I was beginning to feel better and I decided that I wanted recovery even if he did not. I had spent my whole life thinking of others, trying to help others, and in the process, I did not lose me, because you have to have an “identity” in order to lose one, and I had never had one. I found out that I was Co-Dependent. I read up on Co-Dependency and I went to therapy too.

Let it begin with me.When anyone anywhere reaches out for help, we want the hand of Al-Anon and Ala-Teen to be there.

I celebrated thirty years of sobriety and serenity in January 2017.  God has used me for thirty years to “carry the message of recovery” to many others.  I share my recovery to those that “want” it, because we can only help those that “want” recovery and are “willing to go to any lengths” to achieve sobriety and serenity.  Very few have chosen to stay sober come hell or high water, no matter what, because we have “free will”, and they are looking for an “easier, softer way”.  I chose the “harder, right way”.

Bill and Lois Wilson


Seeing God In Nature


“In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.” – Genesis 1:1

Where is your spot? Where is that place that you go and no matter how crazy and chaotic your life has been, that place that will bring you peace and help you to center?

Some people find that place in the mountains. The awesome grandeur of majestic mountains shows God’s power and creativity and it reminds us that the problems of earth can certainly be handled by God.  

Some find a sense of peace and perspective in when they are near the ocean. Again the massive body of water and the consistency of the tide and waves brings peace and comfort. 

Some others enjoy a meadow setting; still others love the varied creativity of the woods. 

Regardless of where the spot is where you feel calmed and closer to God, it is a place where you can appreciate God’s creation… His creativity, His power, His strength and His love. Being in this spot in creation gives you a God moment.  

My serenity spot’s are all of those above. I especially love waterfalls and the woods. I love my jungle. I love trees. My backyard is my jungle, and it is not perfect, but it is my gift from God. There are weeds, and roses have thorns, but I focus on what I have instead of what I don’t have today. I can find peace and serenity in the bird’s singing and all of the greenery cropping up in the Springtime, my favorite time of year. It represents ‘New Life” to me. 

Nature is the art of God. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson 

Prosperous Trees

The Oak Tree Was Once Just A Little Nut That Held Its Ground

Sally's Serenity Spot


The Oak Tree Was Once Just A Little Nut That Held Its Ground…I always have felt like a nut. I was a little nut that grew into a large and strong Oak Tree…God through my twelve step programs has made that possible. 

I have always love flowers, trees and nature.

In the sixties, I was a hippie, a “flower child”.  I always knew that I was different from other girls. I did not like a lot of “girl things”.  I always felt out of place and left out. I love the analogy of the “nut” and the “oak tree”.  It fits me.

The Oak Tree also reminds me of my Family Tree. Our Oak Tree has a strong foundation that just began with one nut. I am so grateful to have been born one of the nuts on my family tree. Grateful to be born free in the U.S.A. to…

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Family, Like Branches On A Tree, We Grow in Different Directions, Yet Our Roots Remain As One, Rooted In God And Jesus!

Texas Tudors' Blog


If we are Rooted in God and Jesus we are able to stand the strong winds, and storms of life! God never promised us a “rose garden”.  He promised us that He would be there with us to comfort us and we would never have to be alone again, unless we wanted to be. 

My family has shown me that we can go through anything with God and Jesus by our side. God has carried me through abuse, stalking, unemployment, losing my car, losing my home, and divorce. God never left me. I left Him.

Then, he gave me the “love of my life” when He thought that I was ready. I had to learn to put God number one no matter what….above my family, my husband, and my children…when I lost all and only had God…I found out that He was all that I ever needed. Mother told me…

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Is Christianity Dead?


Well folks, another Christmas is in the books!

Christmas 2K16 is officially behind us. The eggnog has been consumed. Gifts gifted. Food coma endured. And for those brave souls who took on a real tree this year, its pine needles are officially all over the floor and will be mysteriously appearing in randomcrevicesfor the next 4 months.


Ever since I was of “appropriate age,” my family has always gone to Midnight Mass on Christmas Eve. It is one of my favorite memories and traditions. The caroling at 11pm. The candles. The trumpets. For the past, say, 15+ years, we have been going, and every year, we’d always get there right at 11:00, throwing elbows, and staking out our pew, as it is always standing room only. And don’t even bother coming at 11:15…because there will be no parking and you’re guaranteed to be standing – two deep – in the…

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