Our True Home

Field of Sunflowers

“Our true home is in the present moment.

To live in the present moment is a miracle.

The miracle is not to walk on water.

The miracle is to walk on the green earth in the present moment,

To appreciate the peace and beauty that are available now.

Peace is all around us-

In the world and in nature-

And within us-

In our bodies and in our spirits.

Once we learn to touch this peace,

We will be healed and transformed.

It is not a matter of faith,

It is a matter of practice. “

source: The Twelve Step Prayer Book, written and compiled by Bill P. and Lisa D, 2004, Hazelden, http://hazelden.org


What is a Dry Drunk? Signs and Ways to Overcome It!

If you have been around the rooms of a twelve step program then you probably have heard of the term dry drunk, but what does that exactly mean?  Basically, a dry drunk is an alcoholic that is sober but still acts like they did when they were drinking. They are usually angry and miserable most of the time and appear to be white knuckling through life just to not drink and be happy. This is why a program of recovery for alcoholics and addicts is suggested. 

Signs and Characteristics of a Dry Drunk

A dry drunk will start to show signs of anger, depression, discontentment, irritability and restlessness if they are not working on themselves. The hopelessness that they begin to feel starts to make them act out in unhealthy ways, which may in fact start to resemble behaviors they had when they were still drinking or using. Although the dry drunk isn’t drinking or using, they may no longer be motivated to stay clean and sober. This can happen because of a few different things: something happened where they lost all hope, they built a resentment, they believe that they don’t need to work any steps, they experienced a setback, etc. Whatever the reason for this syndrome, it can descend very rapidly and may lead to a relapse. The good news is that there are ways to overcome dry drunk syndrome.

How To Get Out Of The Dry Drunk Funk

Awareness of actions and a desire to change

Work a program of recovery (calling a sponsor, working the 12-steps, going to meetings, and helping others)

Build a stable sober support network

Maintain a relationship with a higher power

Learn new skills and hobbies

Growing Up

“We must no longer be children, tossed to and fro and blown about by every wind of doctrine, by people’s trickery, by their craftiness in deceitful scheming. But speaking the truth in love, we must grow up in every way into Him who is the head, into Christ, from whom the whole body, joined and knitted together by every ligament with which it is equipped, as each part is working properly, promotes the body’s growth in building itself up in love.” Ephesians 4:14-16

As a child I dreamed of being Peter Pan, which was very confusing for me, since I was a girl. I wondered if I was odd or queer, because I wanted to be like Peter Pan, and be able to fly. I lived in my make believe world, because I was not happy in reality. I read romance novels and fairy tales. I longed for a world that had peace and love, and no one was hurt or hungry. Today, I realize that it was an Ideal but not Reality. I was a Dreamer. We can help some people, but we cannot save the world. Through my recovery, I have learned that I can help some people, the people that God puts in my path, but I am not God and I cannot save everyone. 

I totally disagree with this quote! Our dreams sometimes come true, if it is God’s will, and we do the footwork. But if it is not God’s will, then it will never happen. People cannot always get whatever they want just by sacrificing everything else for it. I do not like this quote! No matter how much a person  wishes for something or sacrifices for it, if it is not to be, then it will not happen.  

Children need to be taught that they will not always get what they want in life. And…that in life there will always be “good” and “evil”, because that is the world that we live in. Life is NOT fair! If it were there would NOT be so much evil in the world. They need to be taught to celebrate the “good” and be grateful for it, and accept the bad.  To grow up means that they must accept the responsibility for their own lives, and stop blaming others for their problems. 

If they fail to “grow up”, then they will be stuck in the Victim mode, they will be volunteering for others to run their lives, and they will be at the mercy of others’s choices.  It reduces their choices in life.

I choose to make my own choices, and to not follow the crowd. I choose to become a Victor instead of a Victim!

One Person CAN Make A Difference

Mike McBurnette made a BIG difference to many others besides me! The Starfish Flinger was his favorite story, and now it is mine.  Mike was my Mentor, my Boss, and my Friend. He is NOT forgotten!



Journey with God

All of life comes to one ultimate question….darkness or light, evil or good, sinner or saint?  Every decision leans one way or the other.  Every action takes a side, whether you consciously choose it or not.  Every word uttered is a reflection of the heart and reveals which side of the fence the speaker is on.  Even inaction is an action, is a choice, is a decision made that answers the internal question of evil or good.

You battle everyday with choices set before you.  The battles may occur at work, at home, during down time, in the busiest time of the day, with family, friends, or coworkers.  Choices are made in everything at every moment of every day of your life.  The choice you make reflects who you are as a person, your character, your beliefs, and your values.

So, I ask you:  What do your choices reveal about you?  Do they…

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For Me, It Is About Your Priorities

I used to feel guilty for being retired and not contributing financially. Well, that is what the world wants of us anyway.

My husband loves me being home, because he is disabled. My puppy loves me being home too. I love working in our yard.

I have worked since I was 12, and I was always chasing the almighty dollar, because I thought that was what I was supposed to do. Now, almost fifty years later, God has blessed me with the ability to stay at home. 

I felt guilty when I chose to be a stay-at-home Mom for six years when my son was little. I loved it!

I have learned to not listen to what the world thinks, and do what makes us happy. We have to “play the hand that we are dealt”.

Some women do not want to stay at home. My sister never did. I love it! I say, “Different strokes, for different folks.”

For me, it was about priorities. We could live on less financially, and place more importance on being there for our family instead of “chasing the almighty” dollar.

Hell, we were broke even when I worked too, so now I get to stay at home where my heart is.  It brings to mind the quote: “Bloom where we are planted”. 

Just for Today

Just for Today

  • JUST FOR TODAY I will try to live through this day only, and not tackle all my problems at once.  I can do something for twelve hours that would appall me if I felt that I had to keep it up for a lifetime.
  • JUST FOR TODAY I will be happy.  This assumes to be true what Abraham Lincoln said, that “Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be.”
  • JUST FOR TODAY I will adjust myself to what is, and not try to adjust everything to my own desires.  I will take my “luck” as it comes, and fit myself to it.
  • JUST FOR TODAY I will try to strengthen my mind.  I will study.  I will learn something useful.  I will not be a mental loafer.  I will read something that requires effort, thought and concentration.
  • JUST FOR TODAY I will exercise my soul in three ways: I will do somebody a good turn, and not get found out; if anybody knows of it, it will not count.  I will do at least two things I don’t want to do – just for exercise.  I will not show anyone that my feelings are hurt; they may be hurt, but today I will not show it.
  • JUST FOR TODAY I will be agreeable.  I will look as well as I can, dress becomingly, keep my voice low, be courteous, criticize not one bit.  I won’t find fault with anything, nor try to improve or regulate anybody but myself.
  • JUST FOR TODAY I will have a program.  I may not follow it exactly but I will have it.  I will save myself from two pests: hurry and indecision.
  • JUST FOR TODAY I will have a quiet half hour all by myself and relax.  During this half hour, sometime, I will try to get a better perspective on my life.
  • JUST FOR TODAY I will be unafraid.  Especially I will not be afraid to enjoy what is beautiful, and to believe that as I give to the world, so the world will give to me.