Dance Floor
Dance Floor (Photo credit: enric archivell)
English: Barbie Portrait
English: Barbie Portrait (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Dance in the Rain2

As a little girl I loved to play in the rain. I was a free spirit. I loved singing, dancing, writing, and reading. I had a diary for as along as I can remember. Writing always helped me to sort out my feelings and vent my anger. I was a creative child and I used to make my own cards out of colored construction paper and pictures out of magazines. I lived in my dream world and my Barbie doll world. In January, I will be (60) sixty years of age, but I don’t feel that old.

In adulthood, I began to dread the rain, and I thought about how the rain got my clothes wet, or made the road muddy, and I began thinking that rain was a bad thing. 

And…in recovery, I have learned how to dance in the rain. I enjoy the good days, and tolerate the bad days knowing that tomorrow may be better. God has carried me through many losses, the latest of which was my mother dying last year. My mother was my inspiration, she was my idol. All I ever wanted to be was a wife and mother just like her. I am grateful to have had 58 wonderful years with her. She made me the loving, caring, and sensitive person that I am today. I tell people that all of my good qualities I got from her, and the bad ones, I did on my own. 

God’s Purpose For My Life…Writer and Genealogist


For the first time in my life I know what God‘s purpose is for my life. I know that I am living exactly where I am supposed to be, and doing exactly what I am supposed to be doing. All my life, I never felt like I “fit” anywhere. I always thought that if only I had a “different” body, or a “different” life. I was never happy with myself. I was jealous of the “confident” and “self-assured” girls and women. And…I always wished that I had bigger boobs, more friends, and was popular. 

Looking back at my childhood it makes me sad, because I realize that I “wasted” a lot of time “wishing” my life away. I lived in my fantasy world through my romance novels and books, and my Barbie doll world. I was never “happy”. I always compared myself to others, and I never measured up in my eyes. I was a beautiful little girl. I have seen photos and I was…beautiful, but I never felt it!

Today, because of my relationship with God/Jesus I have been “healed”, and I know what my purpose in life is.

Jesus wants me to sponsor and “carry the message” to the other girls and women who are still suffering and need to hear His message of Faith, Hope, and Love. Jesus does save!!

He saved me, and He will save you too, if you ask Him, and you work for it…

To Do: 1. Go to meetings, 2. Get a sponsor, 3. Read Big Book and Twelve Steps, 4. Work the steps with a sponsor.