Loving and Honoring Yourself Is NOT Selfish!


As a child I was taught to not be selfish and think about all the other starving children or orphans. It was drilled into me that I should not think about myself, and to only think about others. I was so miserable, and I lived in constant chaos. I hated school! I lost my identity about the age of twelve when my addictions began.

No one told me to be good to me, or that it was ok for me to think about my needs too. I became an “enabler” and a “Co-Dependent” person. I hated me because I was never perfect, and could never live up to the expectations set on me by my parents. I grew to hate me and magnified all my flaws and did not look at the good things about me. I was terrified of being “abandoned” and not being loved, or being different from others. I allowed others to define me because I had no definition of myself, except so and so’s daughter, so and so’s wife. It was not alright for me to be me, or for me to choose who I wanted to be. I lived in Fantasy instead of Reality, because I hated myself and my life so much that I escaped the pain through my addictions. I had an “addictive personality”. 

Praise God, in my recovery, I have learned that I have a choice, and I can choose who I want to be, where I want to live, what I want to do, and that I AM Special, Loved, Wanted, and Needed, “Just as I am”. I am not Selfish, but I think of me less.

My program taught me how to have relationships with the priorities in order of number one God, then myself, and then others. I don’t have to give up me to be loved by you. I can be happy serving God, but taking care of me and my family too. We are supposed to take care of ourselves first then others. Like the example of the oxygen mask, if I don’t take care of me then I am not strong enough to help others. I cannot save the world.

C.S. Lewis

CHRISTmas to me is about Sharing God’s Love With All His Children…Young and Old

Sally T, Sally V, & Melanie L, Alvin, TX, December 20, 2013CHRISTmas to me is about Sharing God‘s Love With All God’s Children. It is about giving not receiving. No matter how little you have, if you look around there are people who have less than you do. God told us that God’s greatest commandment was to love one another. Me and the Girls got a chance to spend the day together just enjoying each others company and catching up what has been going on in each others life’s.
Me, Sally V., and Melanie L. have stayed friends and stayed in touch for years through all our problems, and we each have been each others support system. We never gave up on each other. Us old people need love too.

God has blessed me with friends who have loved me unconditionally like Jesus has loved us. I am truly blessed. All of my needs have been met. I have God in my life and in charge of my life. I am truly loved for exactly who I am. I have family and friends that have loved me through all the problems, all the deaths, lost jobs, lost homes, lost cars, and lost loves. People and things are no longer my “higher power”, and I never have to be alone again unless I want to.

If The World Hates You, Maybe It Is Because You Stand Up For What Is Right And Good, And Evil Hates The Truth!

Free-Christian-Wallpaper-John-15-18-678x509If The World Hates You, Maybe It Is Because You Stand Up For What Is Right And Good, And Evil Hates The Truth! The Devil hates you to speak the Truth, and he does not want you to wake others up to the Truth. He is all things bad and evil, and loves the darkness. God is everything good and Right! He loves the light.

The Temptation of Christ, 1854
The Temptation of Christ, 1854 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)


“The wicked flee when no man pursues them, but the [uncompromisingly] righteous are bold as a lion.”~~Proberbs 28:1

Bold Enough to be Led by the Spirit

“If we intend to succeed at being ourselves, we must reach a point where we can be led by the Holy spirit. Only God, through His Spirit, will lead us to succeed and be all we can be. Other people usually won’t, the devil certainly won’t, and we are not able to do it ourselves without God. Being led by the Spirit does not mean that we do not make mistakes or that we are perfect. The Holy Spirit does not make mistakes but we do.

Following the Spirit’s leading is a process which can only be learned by doing. We start by stepping out into things we believe God is putting on our hearts, and we learn by wisdom and experience how to hear more clearly and definitely. 

I say that boldness is required to be led by the Spirit because: 1.) only boldness steps out, and 2.) only boldness can survive making mistakes. When insecure people make mistakes, they often will never try again. Bold people make many mistakes, but their attitude is, “I’m going to keep trying until I learn to do this right.” 

Those who suffer from condemnation usually don’t believe they can hear from God. Even if they think they may have heard from God and do step out, a minor failure is a major setback to them. I am prepared mentally and emotionally not to be defeated by mistakes and problems when they do come. 

Be bold. Be determined that you are going to be all God wants you to be. Don’t hide behind fears and insecurities any longer. If you have already made major blunders in your life and have been living under condemnation for a reason, and I encourage you to take this message personally, just as though God were talking directly to you through it. Be determined to press on toward victory.” ~~~Joyce Meyer

Sweetly Broken~~Jeremy Riddle~~Jesus Sacrificed Himself To Save Us All!

Uploaded on Mar 14, 2011

To the cross I look, to the cross I cling
Of its suffering I do drink
Of its work I do sing

On it my Savior both bruised and crushed
Showed that God is love
And God is just

At the cross You beckon me
You draw me gently to my knees, and I am
Lost for words, so lost in love,
I’m sweetly broken, wholly surrendered

What a priceless gift, undeserved life
Have I been given
Through Christ crucified

You’ve called me out of death
You’ve called me into life
And I was under Your wrath
Now through the cross I’m reconciled 


In awe of the cross I must confess
How wondrous Your redeeming love and
How great is Your faithfulness

From the album Sweetly Broken – with my own pictures

St. Mary's Catholic Cemetery, Taylor, TX


But For The Grace Of God…There Go I!

But for the grace of God, I could have been born in one of those God forsaken countries that has communism and the satanic cult of islam, instead of our Christian nation. I don’t believe that it was because I deserved it but because of God’s grace.

I know that I cannot save the world or stop evil from happening, but I do have empathy for the poor people that have to live in that evil. I will do whatever I can to wake up more people to the evils of the satanic cult of islam and communism.

But for the grace of God, I was born into a Christian family that taught us to love each other not rape, torture, maim, or kill each other. I have never been homeless, and never gone hungry.

God has truly blessed me. It reminds me to be grateful to be who I am and to live where I live. It reminds me to be grateful that my ancestors were Christian, hard working, and good people. My ancestors fought and died to keep our country free and safe.  Even with all the corruption, communism, and islam infiltrating our country, America is still the best country to live in.

I will help fight to keep America Christian, and Capitalist.  God bless all our veteran heroes, past and present. Thank God for my American heroes and veterans.

Little Girl and Flag

You Can Do What God Has Called You To Do!


“I can do everything God asks me to with the help of Christ who gives me the strength and power.”~~PHILIPPIANS 4:13

“Recently I saw a sign on a church that said, “Trust in God, believe in yourself, and you can do anything.” That is not correct.

There was a time in my life when I would have seen that sign and said, “Amen!” But not anymore. You and I really cannot do anything we want to do. We cannot do anything or everything that everyone else is doing. But we can do everything God has called us to do. And we can be anything God says we can be

We must get balance in this area. We can go to motivational seminars and be told with a lot of emotional hype, “You can do anything. Think you can do it; believe you can do it; say you can do it–and you can do it!” That is true only to a degree. Carried too far, it get off into humanism. We need to speak about ourselves what the Word says about us. 

We can do what we are called to do, what we are gifted to do. There are ways we can learn to recognize the grace gifts that are on our lives. 

I have learned this regarding myself; when I start getting frustrated, I know it is a sign that either I have gotten off into my own works and am no longer receiving God’s grace, or I am trying to to do something for which there was no grace to begin with.” ~~New Day New You,  Joyce Meyer

I spent many years of my life trying to figure out what God wanted me to do or be. I became a people-pleaser and I tried to be what other people thought I should be. I worshiped my mother, so I tried to be what she wanted me to be. All I ever wanted to be was a wife and mother, and have a home like she did. I married an abusive man and found out that I could not have any children. I could not imagine what I was living for.

By God’s grace, we adopted a beautiful baby boy. I had it all, or so I thought, a home, husband, and a baby. I was still unfulfilled, depressed, and unhappy.

I never knew for sure that I was what God had planned for me to be. No matter what I did, I felt it was never enough. My ex-husband drank a lot and cheated on me and he was a workaholic. Neither of us were happy. I wanted a husband who was kind, loving, and faithful. A husband who came home at night and wanted to be with me, and wanted to build a home together. I never had the intimacy that I craved, even when my ex-husband was home, he was “emotionally unavailable” to me. 

In recovery, I began trying to learn what God’s will was for me. I began working with others and “carrying the message”.  So, I decided to become a Substance Abuse Counselor. 

I went to college and became a Counselor. After five years, working in the prison system, I became “burned out” besides being laid off in 1995. I was devastated.  I was unemployed and therefore, could not pay house notes, car notes, and had to move out and sell my home. My son chose to move in with his Dad. God, I felt like such a failure. It is a miracle that I am alive and that I survived, because back then I wanted to die! 

By God’s grace, I had family for a support system. Through my “program for living” I became closer to God and I learned to “accept life on life’s terms” and not my own. After years of working on me, I am now remarried and I have never been happier. I have a home, wonderful husband, and wonderful family who loves me just as I am. Life is still not perfect, because that is life.

My number one priorities are knowing and doing God’s will, staying away from alcohol, “carrying the message”, and doing God’s will not mine. God has taken away the “chaos” and replaced it with “serenity”.  I was not an overnight job. It took living “One day at a Time”. 

You Are Exactly Where You Are Meant To Be

Today we believe God wants you to know that … you are exactly where you are meant to be.

Trust in God that everything is exactly the way it is supposed to be.

Just as a child has to pass through a tiny channel on its way from the womb into life, so are you on your way to God.

All my life I never thought that I was where God wanted me to be, or what He wanted me to be. I lived in fear and doubt. I never thought that I was good “enough”. I never felt like I “fit in” or was “as good as” others. I became a “people pleaser”. I lived my life for others and tried be what they wanted me to be. I never had my own identity outside others. I was never happy. I reached the brink of suicide before I reached out for help and began my “recovery”. 

I began my “New Life” or Recovery on January 1, 1987, and now that I am in recovery I now have faith in God, and I know without a doubt that I am exactly where God wants me to be, doing exactly what I am doing. I am no longer living in fear and depression. I am “happy, joyous, and free”.

Still life with Bible, by Vincent Van Gogh
Still life with Bible, by Vincent Van Gogh (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

“Nothing happens in God’s world by mistake”. ~~source: AA, p. 417


Self Acceptance

Today, Sally, we believe God wants you to know that …

God is glad that you are You.

Sure, we all have things we want to change, to improve about ourselves. But underneath the flesh and bone, you are an immortal and perfect soul. Always remember that.

God judges us from our insides, people judge us by our outside. 

God Answered My Prayers~~His Grace Is Enough

Uploaded on Feb 15, 2011

Great is Your faithfulness oh God
You wrestle with the sinner’s heart
You lead us by still waters in to mercy
And nothing can keep us apart

So remember Your people
Remember Your children
Remember Your promise
Oh God

Your grace is enough
Your grace is enough
Your grace is enough for me

Great is Your love and justice God of Jacob
You use the weak to lead the strong
You lead us in the song of Your salvation
And all Your people sing along

So remember Your people
Remember Your children
Remember Your promise
Oh God

Your grace is enough
Your grace is enough
Your grace is enough for me [x2]

So remember Your people
Remember Your children
Remember Your promise
Oh God

Your grace is enough
Your grace is enough
Your grace is enough for me

Your grace is enough
Heaven reaching down to us
Your grace is enough for me
God I see your grace is enough
I’m covered in your love
Your grace is enough for me
For me.

God the Father 01
God the Father 01 (Photo credit: Waiting For The Word)

In 1980, I learned that I had Endometriosis and could not have any children. We had tried for ten years to have a baby. I came from a big family, and I wanted a big family too. It broke my heart, and I became angry, depressed, and wanted to give up. My dream of having a husband and home were crushed! My husband was unfaithful. I cried out to God for a baby, and two years later God answered my prayers and sent me the little boy, that is now thirty one and the “love of my life”. My son gave me a reason to live. He needed me. His birthmother did not want a child, and never wanted to see him. I too was terrified that she would change her mind. God blessed me with a beautiful baby boy. My prayers were answered.

My gift from God, Jason, thirty years ago!   My graduation on March 26, 2009, Webster, TX, from ITT TECH.

We Need You More Than Ever

Don't Give Up


God of all comfort, dying souls need to feel Your love today. They have been attacked in their spirits, and beaten down by life. The drug addict, the abused, the prostitute, the  tycoon, souls struggling to survive on welfare and disability, and the starving children, men, and women throughout our world; they all need to be lifted out of their dungeon of hopelessness and despair. Our world needs You, Lord, more than ever. Those living in poverty of mind, body and spirit need a reason to go on. They need their political leaders, community and neighbours to reach out to them. Father, they need to have Your hope. Oh, how we all need to feel and know Your love even when we think that we do not!


Lord, hear the suffering, the lonely and dejected as they call out to You. They need to know You hear them. We…

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God’s Purpose For My Life…Writer and Genealogist


For the first time in my life I know what God‘s purpose is for my life. I know that I am living exactly where I am supposed to be, and doing exactly what I am supposed to be doing. All my life, I never felt like I “fit” anywhere. I always thought that if only I had a “different” body, or a “different” life. I was never happy with myself. I was jealous of the “confident” and “self-assured” girls and women. And…I always wished that I had bigger boobs, more friends, and was popular. 

Looking back at my childhood it makes me sad, because I realize that I “wasted” a lot of time “wishing” my life away. I lived in my fantasy world through my romance novels and books, and my Barbie doll world. I was never “happy”. I always compared myself to others, and I never measured up in my eyes. I was a beautiful little girl. I have seen photos and I was…beautiful, but I never felt it!

Today, because of my relationship with God/Jesus I have been “healed”, and I know what my purpose in life is.

Jesus wants me to sponsor and “carry the message” to the other girls and women who are still suffering and need to hear His message of Faith, Hope, and Love. Jesus does save!!

He saved me, and He will save you too, if you ask Him, and you work for it…

To Do: 1. Go to meetings, 2. Get a sponsor, 3. Read Big Book and Twelve Steps, 4. Work the steps with a sponsor. 

Wants vs Needs

There are actual needs, and there are arbitrary wants. The most basic needs you as a human require for survival are oxygen, water, food, clothing and shelter. Anything beyond those are “wants”.

Many things can satisfy your basic needs. A cave for shelter, a blanket for clothing, rainwater for water, but you must have them for basic survival. Wants have nothing to do with actual survival.

When you cannot distinguish between wants versus needs, or if you can’t identify a want as a want, you set yourself up to live in a constant state of craving and disappointment.

If you don’t get an item or situation you have been hoping for, ask yourself if it was just an arbitrary want. Was it something you decided to want based on an advertisement or suggestion, or did it just pop into your head?

Don’t get me wrong–I want things I don’t need just as much as anyone. But when it looks like I may not get them, I ask myself what it is, and realize in almost every case, it was just an arbitrary want, brought on by a “that would be cool” whim that popped into my head out of nowhere.

When you recognize a want as just a want, you begin to realize the silliness of wanting things and situations based on nothing in particular, and the futility of being disappointed when they don’t materialize.

But isn’t it selfish to want money or a job or a relationship or cool stuff? It depends. If your desires are born of the ego, of a desire to avoid bad feelings or lack or loneliness or to boost your identity, yes–that is selfish, and even if you get what you want, it will not help you to feel good. But if your goals are born of spirit–of a desire to share, to create beauty and good, to help others lose their ever-present fear that drives them to seek happiness in things that cannot give it to them, no, that is not selfish. That is spiritual. That is God-like. Yes, you can want and have abundance.” 

I spent most of my life searching for something or someone to make me happy, or to change the way I felt. For some reason I believed that if I had the “right” body, the “right” husband, the “right” house, the “right” job, and then I would be happy.

Then in my addiction no matter what I had there was nothing that filled that empty hole in my soul. I was never happy or serene. I did not even know what that was. I lived in Chaos and from “crisis to crisis”.

I wasted a lot of years “wanting” something else besides what I had.  By the grace of God and the twelve steps I learned to be content with what I have, and to “live life on life’s terms”.

My grandfather used to say, “Always wanting what is not. When it’s cold you want it hot. When it is hot you want it cold.” No matter what I had I always thought that I should have something else. By following the principles that I have learned in my program of recovery, I have learned “in whatsoever state I am in to be content.” God supplies all of our needs and some of our wants. I had to learn to be happy with whatever God gave me, and stop being an ungrateful brat.  Our minister put it in a sermon, “More, More, More“.

For the first time in my life, I am happy with exactly what I have. I have a wonderful husband and family, a comfortable home and a paid off truck to drive. We have all of our needs met by God’s grace.  I have few wants nowadays, so I am happy with little. I have had much and I have had little.

Things cannot make you happy. I have had the “things”, that I thought would make me happy, but they did not. And…really it is all just “stuff”…and can be taken away at anytime.

God has to be number one then me choosing to do God’s will for me has given me peace and serenity.

12 Step work takes me out of me (It is the 12th. Step in action) it remind us to be grateful, and that But for the grace of God; I could be in jail or dead. No, life is not perfect, but I love being free and saying, doing, and feeling whatever I want to. I just have to be willing to reap my Consequences. I got “sick and tired” of being “sick and tired”.

I found my “higher power” in AA. At three years, I went back to church and studied the Bible, but my recovery came from the twelve steps. I was a very unhappy and depressed child. I lived in my own “fantasy” world. I hated “reality”.

My “higher power” at first was my group and my sponsor, because I hated God so much and I felt he never answered my prayers when I had prayed for protection from my abusers. You probably have already heard it before but just in case you haven’t: God never gave up on us, we gave up on Him.



How deep the Father’s love for us,
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure

How great the pain of searing loss,
The Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the chosen One,
Bring many sons to glory

Behold the Man upon a cross,
My sin upon His shoulders
Ashamed I hear my mocking voice,
Call out among the scoffers

It was my sin that held Him there
[From: http://www.elyrics.net%5D

Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I know that it is finished

I will not boast in anything
No gifts, no power, no wisdom
But I will boast in Jesus Christ
His death and resurrection

Why should I gain from His reward?
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom
Lyrics from <a href=”http://www.elyrics.net”>eLyrics.net</a&gt;

Jesus Christ Crucifix

We Are The Light Of The World!

You Are The Light Of The World

Every secret, every shame

Every fear, every pain
Live inside the dark
But that’s not who we are
We are children of the day

So wake up sleeper, lift your head
We were meant for more than this
Fight the shadows conquer death
Make the most of the time we have left

We are the light of the world
We are the city on a hill
We are the light of the world
We gotta, we gotta, we gotta let the light shine

We are the light of the world
We are the city on a hill
We are the light of the world
We gotta, we gotta, we gotta let the light shine
Let the light shine, let the light shine

We are called to spread the news
Tell the world the simple truth
Jesus came to save, there’s freedom in His Name
So let it all break through

We are the light of the world
We are the city on a hill
We are the light of the world
We gotta, we gotta, we gotta let the light shine
We are the light of the world
We are the city on a hill
We are the light of the world
We gotta, we gotta, we gotta let the light shine

We are the light
we are the light
we are the light
So let your light shine brighter.

We are the light
we are the light
we are the light

Jesus, You are the light
You are the light
You are the light
We will let You high and
shine, shine shine.

Good post! I was the prodigal daughter. And…I can assure you that your prayer does help, and to never give up. Mother had to learn the difference between “helping” or “enabling” me. She had to “let go and let God”. She reminded me that she loved me no matter what~~but she could not “enable” me to continue my bad behavior without consequences. She knew that I had to “hit my bottom”, and want to change. She could not “fix” me. She loved me and turned me over to God. Good news is that after thirty five years of me being gone, I chose to ask God for help and He saved me. My suggestion is for you to let them know that you love them too much to continue to “enable” them. It is OK to still love them, because that is what love is, and God does with us.

             God bless you, Sally

English: Sally Siddons (1775-1803) 143.4 by 11...

Just a bit more...

I find myself in a different kind of lonely. It’s called being a parent of a “Prodigal child”.  For those of you who don’t know what that is, the term prodigal comes from the parable that Jesus told about a son who went away from his family in rebellion and lived a life of squandor and eventually returned home completely humbled because he was having to return out of desperation and hope that he could return not as a son, but as a worker for his father.

So here I am watching my own adult children. They are in their own process. Some of these I wince at, I worry, I see where they are headed. It scares me, I worry, I imagine the worst.  My days of parenting as I knew them are over.  I now must totally entrust them to their own decisions(good and bad) and encourage…

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Recovery #2

jsGod's Will
Pain, Agony, Chaos, Insanity, Jail, Divorce, Death, and Institutions, just to name a few.
I live my life everyday for Jesus. I am a living testimony for Him, that people can and do change, with help, if they really want to, and are “willing to go to any lengths to get it” (sobriety) .
There are no more excuses!!  
You will either “grow”(recover) or you will “go” (back to your old self).

God gave us “free will” and we have our own choices to make. Then we have to pay our consequences for our bad decisions and bad behaviors. I am tired of paying “consequences”, so I make better decisions today.

WWJD = What Would Jesus Do?

 Stained glass at St John the Baptist's Anglica...


Just as I am, Lord


“Being satisfied and happy with yourself is a very important key to enjoying your life. Because of my background, I had many weaknesses in the area of accepting myself and being me. I was always comparing myself with others, jealous of them and their possessions and abilities. I wasn’t being myself: I was trying to keep up with everyone else.

I often felt pressured and frustrated because I was operating outside my gifts and calling. When I finally realized I could not do anything unless God had ordained it and anointed me to do it, I started relaxing and saying, “I am what I am“. I cannot be anything unless God helps me.I am just going to concentrate on being the best me I can be.”

God has made every one of us unique. He personally made you and gave you gifts, talents, and abilities. Just think about it: Nobody else in the world is exactly like you. That means what is best for someone else may not be what is best for you.

So, when you are tempted to say to God, “I wish I looked like somebody else,” or “I wish I could do this or that like them,” don’t say it. Be satisfied with whom God made you to be. Remember that He made you exactly the way He wants you to be. If you try to be like someone else, you will miss the beautiful life God has planned for you.”

~~~source: New Day, New You, Joyce Meyers, 2007

Stained glass at St John the Baptist's Anglica...

In my recovery program we have a saying, “To thine own self be true”. 

St. Paul's statue on the Holy Cross Chapel, Pr...

Excellent blog post. I too escaped the “psycho” not “loon”. I have thought about writing my story for years. You dear have given me the motivation to begin my story of survival from my “psycho”. At the time, in 1998, I was depressed and divorced for the third time, and very vulnerable when I met my “psycho”. He was also good looking and very manipulative. I fell for his lies, and his charms. After six months of a whirlwind courtship, we married. I had high hopes and I wanted to believe everything that he told me. I had no idea of the “insanity” and “violence”, that I was getting into.

By God’s grace and the support of a loving family, I was able to finally get away from his “stalking” when I left him. I left him several times before I had had enough. I survived two years of “stalking”, hiding, and living in fear. I started carrying a gun beside my bed. It will take a long time to tell the whole story. I will leave it at that. By God’s grace, I am remarried now for seven years, and I have never been happier. We are the love’s of each other’s life’s. We are not perfect, but as I say we are perfect for each other. It is a God thing. I stayed single for six years and worked on me. Never, Never give up. Nothing is impossible with God.

Prego and the Loon


At first I was unable to tell my story of domestic violence because I was in SHOCK. I couldn’t believe what was going on around me. I was stuck in that moment of… Did that just happen to me? I was sure I was having a bad nightmare and I would awake at any moment. Then I was in DENIAL. I was in complete disbelief of everything going on around me. How could my husband, the so called man of my dreams abuse me? His angry fists of rage were life threatening and his words cut like a knife, but I was still HOPEFUL. Which is why I still did not speak up at this point. I mean imagine if I told my friends and family the horrible things I was experiencing at home, and then we patched everything up and lived happily ever after. Lastly I was AFRAID of…

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Stained glass window of the sacred Heart of Je...

Jesus H. Christ
Jesus H. Christ (Photo credit: angelofsweetbitter2009)
Stained glass at St John the Baptist's Anglica...
Stained glass at St John the Baptist’s Anglican Church http://www.stjohnsashfield.org.au, Ashfield, New South Wales. Illustrates Jesus’ description of himself “I am the Good Shepherd” (from the Gospel of John, chapter 10, verse 11). This version of the image shows the detail of his face. The memorial window is also captioned: “To the Glory of God and in Loving Memory of William Wright. Died 6th November, 1932. Aged 70 Yrs.” (Photo credit: Wikipedia)