Prosperous Trees

Prosperous Trees

“Happy are those who do not follow the advice of the wicked, or take the path that sinners tread, or sit in the seat of scoffers; but their delight is in the law of the LORD, and on His law they meditate day and night. They are like trees planted by streams of water, which yield their fruit in its season, and their leaves do not wither. In all that they do they prosper.” source: Psalm 1:1-3 

That is not to say that the Godly people do not have problems, because everyone has problems. Just because you do God’s will does not mean that you are immune from problems. It is how we deal with our problems that makes the difference. I live my life to the best of my ability to seek and do God’s will everyday. Since, I have turned my life and my will over to God, I have peace, and serenity where there was chaos and fear, it has been replaced by faith. I will not always get my way, but God never leaves me nor forsakes me. I know that no matter what happens, God will be there with me. I never have to be alone again. Praise be to God.

Let’s Celebrate! I Celebrated 29 Years of Recovery In Al-Anon Last Night!


Thanks so much for everyone helping me to celebrate my beginnings in Al-Anon. I celebrate my “New Beginnings” on this night. I have come a long way baby!

I thank God everyday that He led me to Al-Anon ( a free twelve step program) on a Friday, March 28, 1986. He knew what it would take for me to wake up and learn how to “Let go and let God” of my ex-husband who was in his active alcoholic lifestyle. He choose to continue in his disease and I chose not to continue in his disease with him. Thank God, I have a choice and I do not have to be miserable anymore. I choose recovery. 

I have no doubt whatsoever that without this program for living, I would not be married to the man that I am, be living where I am, nor be as happy as I am without it.

This program saved my sanity and taught me to have serenity even in the face of chaos and depression.  I am so grateful for all the special ladies that have helped me to stay sane and gave me hope for happiness and serenity.

I had family that had problems with alcoholism and they had found help and hope through the Twelve Step programs. So, I went to try and find a way to “fix” my husband. I did not have any idea what it was about. I believed that if I could “fix” my husband, then I could be happy. I did not think that I could be happy unless I “fixed” him.  

I found the hope and the help that I needed there. Even though things are not perfect in my life, and never will be, I have learned to be happy no matter what is going on in my life.

After three years of attending meetings and working the steps, I was finally able to accept the fact that I was trying to “play god” and I was trying to make him do as I wanted him to. So, I accepted the fact that I could not change him,  but also that I had a right to be happy too. I did not have to put up with his unacceptable behaviors unless I wanted to. I did divorce him, and I went on to work on myself.

I am happily married today, but without the program to teach me how to “live and let live”, I would not how to live “life on life’s terms” and to be happy. My happiness is not dependent on another person. 

I will never outgrow my need for the program and the fellowship, and my way of showing my gratitude for what I was freely given is to continue to give it back to the newcomers. 

“After having suffered alone with the effects of this brutal disease, the Al-Anon fellowship is an unexpectedly and nourishing source of compassion and support.” source: How Al-Anon works for Families and Friends of Alcoholics p. 11

Let Go And Let GOD Be God

“O our God, will You not exercise judgement upon them? For we have no might to stand against this great company that is coming against us. We do not know what to do, but our eyes are upon You.” ~~2 Chronicles 20:12

Here Jehoshaphat admits to God openly his total inability to deal with the problem. For years I tried very hard to change myself without success. I tried so hard and so long to break bad habits only to fail time and time again. I tried to alter different things in my life, to get prosperity, to make my ministry grow, and to be healed. I remember wanting to give up because I was so exhausted from trying to fight my own battles. I went through all that on a regular basis until I was being really kind of melodramatic about it, trying to impress God with how miserable I was. I said something like, “God, I’ve had it. This is it. I’m through. Nothing I’m doing is working. I give up. I’m not going to do this anymore. Just then, deep inside me, I heard the Holy Spirit say, “Really?” There was real excitement in His voice. That happens because the only time He gets to work in us is when we become so exhausted that we finally decide,  “Instead of trying to do this myself, I’m going to let go and let God be God.” Trying to be God will wear you out fast. Why not give up your own effort and do what Jehoshaphat did in verse 12? Admit to God that you have no might to stand against your enemies and that you don’t know what to do, but you’re looking to Him for direction and deliverance. source: New Day, NEW YOU, Joyce Meyers, 2007

I always have had problems with setting, and keeping boundaries. As a child, I had only two choices: comply or get a beating. In school we had NO choices, it was their way or the highway.  I was NOT allowed to define my own boundaries or to be myself. I was NOT expected to defend myself, because in those days, the teachers and doctors were god and were never wrong. And…whatever they said was the law.

I believe my addictions began about the age of twelve. I used to escape a critical, confining, and controlling environment through my addictions. I did not believe there was a god, or else I was such a horrible child that I deserved to treated the way that I was, so I wanted no part of him or established religion.

In my recovery, I found God, because I had tried living my life my way, and I had hit bottom in order to be desperate enough to give into something that I thought was make-believe and not real. I was allowed choices. I could go on to the bitter end, or try this god-thing.

I was allowed to choose the “higher power” that I needed for me. I chose one that was not a hateful, abusive, critical, condemning, controlling God, but a loving and forgiving one. I had to stop “playing god”.  I am NOT God, so it is NOT my job but God’s job.

Through the years, I have learned to let go a lot sooner, and stop playing God. I asked for help, instead of suffering alone. I was taught that all I have to do is to do the best that I can, and leave the results up to God. We have to do the “footwork” or the next “right thing”.

I make a lot better decisions today and I have a lot more peace and serenity as a by product of “right living”.  No, I am not perfect because I am human. I am a Human Being, not a Human Doing. I almost died trying to be perfect, and still today I have “defects of character” that I am working with God on. 

Who Are You??

Journey with God

You are not what you label yourself to be for you are your own worst critic
You are not what others label you either for they don’t know who you are
You ARE what GOD says you ARE for HE created YOU


Chosen — John 15:16-19, Ephesians 1:4
Loved — Romans 5:8, 1 John 4:10, John 3:16-17
Righteous — 2 Corinthians 5:21
Forgiven — 1 John 1:9, Proverbs 28:13, Ephesians 1:7
Holy — Hebrews 10:10, John 17:19
New — 2 Corinthians 5:17
God’s Child — Isaiah 43:1, John 1:12, Romans 8:15-17

Related Links:
What Does the Bible Say About Me?
What God Says About Me!
Who Does God Say that I Am?
Why Are You Special?

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Loving and Honoring Yourself Is NOT Selfish!


As a child I was taught to not be selfish and think about all the other starving children or orphans. It was drilled into me that I should not think about myself, and to only think about others. I was so miserable, and I lived in constant chaos. I hated school! I lost my identity about the age of twelve when my addictions began.

No one told me to be good to me, or that it was ok for me to think about my needs too. I became an “enabler” and a “Co-Dependent” person. I hated me because I was never perfect, and could never live up to the expectations set on me by my parents. I grew to hate me and magnified all my flaws and did not look at the good things about me. I was terrified of being “abandoned” and not being loved, or being different from others. I allowed others to define me because I had no definition of myself, except so and so’s daughter, so and so’s wife. It was not alright for me to be me, or for me to choose who I wanted to be. I lived in Fantasy instead of Reality, because I hated myself and my life so much that I escaped the pain through my addictions. I had an “addictive personality”. 

Praise God, in my recovery, I have learned that I have a choice, and I can choose who I want to be, where I want to live, what I want to do, and that I AM Special, Loved, Wanted, and Needed, “Just as I am”. I am not Selfish, but I think of me less.

My program taught me how to have relationships with the priorities in order of number one God, then myself, and then others. I don’t have to give up me to be loved by you. I can be happy serving God, but taking care of me and my family too. We are supposed to take care of ourselves first then others. Like the example of the oxygen mask, if I don’t take care of me then I am not strong enough to help others. I cannot save the world.

C.S. Lewis

Thank God, We DO Have Choices!! I Choose Serenity!


I always ask myself, “Is it my problem, or theirs?” Then if it’s someone I love or that I am responsible for, I ask myself, “If I got involved would it help or harm?” I try to do God’s will, and I try to help not harm with my actions. I had to learn how to not enable them.

Everyone needs to make their own decisions and they need to pay their own consequences too. If people continue to rescue or enable them, then they will not learn the lessons that God has for them.

Then I can decide if I want to make it “my problem too!” If it is not my problem, or there is nothing that I can do to change it, then I turn it over to God, and I leave it in His hands. God’s will be done. 

Also say “I am not a character in your soap opera.” or  “Your soap opera was cancelled for lack of audience.”

A Spiritual Renewal

There must be a spiritual renewal of your thoughts and attitudes.

You must display a new nature because you are a new person, created in God’s likeness–righteous, holy, and true.

So put away all falsehood and “tell your neighbor the truth” because we belong to each other.

And “don’t sin by letting anger gain control over you.”

Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a mighty foothold to the devil.

source: Ephesians 4: 23-27 NLT

The Expert In Anything Was Once The Beginner~Someday



I always said Someday I will be happy.

Someday I’ll be more creative.

Someday I will write my story.

Someday I will find someone to love me the way that I need to be loved.

Someday I will start painting whatever I want to on my canvas called “Life”.

Someday I will be able to pay my bills.

Someday. . .

Someday I will make lots of money. 

Someday I will sing with my Dad.

Someday I won’t want to die anymore.

Someday I will figure out what I want to be when I grow up. 

Someday. . .

Someday I will think I’m special and I do have someone unique to offer the world. 

Someday I will believe that I don’t have to be perfect.

Someday I will live life to the fullest.

Accepting life as it comes, changing what I can and accepting what I can’t.


© Copyright 2014 by Sally Frederick Tudor, dba: Sally’s Special Services.

All Rights Reserved. This site claims all rights to this material, (unless a quote or material was previously copyrighted by another) this material has been posted for readers of this site and may not be copied or re-posted to any other site without written permission of the author. 

One Day At A Time

One Day at a Time - RosesOne Day at a Time, is one of our slogans in the twelve step program that I belong to. It is one of my favorite, but it was the hardest for me to learn to live by.

I spent thirty years living in yesterday, and tomorrow, but never today. Either I was living in the past whining and complaining about what all others had done to me, therefore living in my resentments and miserable; or I was living in the future, terrified of what could or would happen. I had no faith, so I lived in fear.  I existed from crisis to crisis. 

It took years of practice in recovery to really….know the meaning of it. The Serenity Prayer helped me to know what to focus on that I could change, and what things that I could not change. 

It does not mean that we do not plan for the future or prepare for tomorrow. We just do our best to know God’s will, so that we can do God’s will. We take it a step at a time, one day at a time.  We must do the “footwork”.  We grow, one day at a time in our recovery too. We do not get well overnight.

If you want a job, then you must prepare and educate yourself, then follow through by creating a resume and applying for the jobs that you qualify for.  Pray for God to direct you to the job that He wants you to have.  

I make a list of what I need to do for the day, and I arrange them in order of priority, the most important first.  I pay what bills that I can, like our water bill, so that we have water to drink, clean, and bathe with.  I consider that a priority for me.

Everyone is different, so some may choose to spend their money on junk food, cigarettes, alcohol, drugs, gambling, or crap that they do not need. But…if you are one of those people…be prepared to do without other things…and don’t expect others to pay you bills…or allow you to live rent free.

I used to manage apartments, and you would not believe how many people would spend their money on getting drunk or high, and not pay their rent or utilities. For me, that is a priority, I pay my living expenses first, then if there is any left I buy groceries or gas.

I knew a woman that did not pay her water bill for six months, while she used another woman’s water.  Then, when they decided to cut off her water, she was pissed. What? It is not someone else’s job to pay your bills!

I told her that she should be grateful that the woman was nice enough to allow her to use her water at all, and that it was not her job to pay your water bill.  She did not see anything wrong with using the other woman . I did.

Of course, she made excuses! Oh, she had to pay other bills. No, she did not have to pay other bills, if there was not enough income for the internet, cable, junk food, and cigarettes, then she should do without others do.

I offered to help her with a budget, to no avail. Ten years later, she is whining about not being able to pay her cable bill and internet. It is sad, but some people never grow up.

I thank God everyday, that I had responsible parents who paid their living expenses first, fed and clothed their six children before the non essential things. My Daddy made very little money, and Mother was a stay at home Mother. We were taught that if we could not afford it, then we did not need it, and could live without it. We ate beans and cornbread and cheap meals a lot.

My childhood has prepared me to “Live life on life’s terms” not mine. My Big Book stated the same thing. We may be broke as hell, but we will have water and a roof over our heads.  I love the quote by Saint Paul, “I have learned in whatsoever state that I am in, therewith to be content.”


Be Proud Of Who You Are. No Matter What Race You Are!


Be proud of whomever you are, whether it be your race, sex, or nationality. Anyone can be a Racist!

God made you just as you are. If He had wanted you to be any other race, sex, or nationality, He would have made you that way. God does NOT make mistakes! You are NOT a mistake!

Do NOT allow others to make you feel inferior or less than you are.

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” Stop allowing the racists and hate-filled people to define who you are.

You have a choice in life. You can either accept yourself like you are, or you can change some things about you, that you do not like.

You are NOT less than anyone else! No matter how much money that they have, or what they do for a living. My mother always told us that there was honor in any kind of work.

God made each of us with special talents, and He expects us to NOT hide them, waste them, or to allow others to make us feel guilty for having them.

Be the best that you can be, that is all that God asks of us.

We Must NEVER Give Our Children Everything That They Want…

We must NEVER give our children everything that they want….because if we do then they do not learn that life is NOT fair…and we cannot always get our way…or what we want. Then they may think that if they want something, all they have to do is whine and pitch a fit and they will get whatever they want. That is how we ended up with a “Entitlement Generation”. 

  • Reality is…bad things happen to good people.
  • Reality is…the world does not revolve around you.
  • Reality is…if we constantly expect to get our way…we will constantly be disappointed.
  • Reality is…the world owes you nothing.
  • Reality is…your parents owe you nothing.
  • Reality is…life is NOT fair.
  • Reality is…if you do not learn that sometimes you will lose…sometimes you will win.
  • Reality is…it is NOT hard working taxpayers job to support you.
  • Reality is…you are responsible for your children NOT the government, ie taxpayers.
  • Reality is…if you don’t discipline your children…then society through the jails and prisons will.
  • Reality is…without teaching our children about God, Honesty, Morals and Manners…they will grow up to be spoiled brats…and a menace to society.

My Husband, The Light of my Life

My husband, “the light of my life.”

He is 58 and I am 60. God really does know what He is doing. We are able to be at home together with my “forced retirement”.

At first, I felt guilty, because I had always worked since I was 12. I was brought up to believe, that if I wanted something that I had to work for it.

Now, God wants me to care for my husband, obviously because that is where I am, for now, and I love it. Not the part about him being sick but the part about having him to share my life. In my program for living, and the twelve steps, I have learned to “accept life on life’s terms”, and so I am content with whatever God has given me. 

I am so grateful for what God has given me, and for what He has taken away too–the chaos, insanity, and the loneliness. In its place God has given me serenity, peace, strength, and solace.  

I thank God everyday for my 27 years in recovery, because without it I would not be doing as well on this “acceptance” thing. I accept the fact that I am NOT God, and that my husband is in God’s hands.  I am grateful for every minute that He gives me with him until God calls him home.

The old me would be living in “self pity” and crying and whining around about how God made me wait so long for my hubby, and the fact that he is sick. I only saw the “bad” in my life.

Someone coined it, a “New Pair of Glasses”, they wrote a book about it. I have not thought about that book in a long while. I will have to get it out and look at it again.

I am looking through a new pair of glasses, and I am seeing what is “right” with my life instead of always looking for what is “wrong” in my life. It makes for a lot more peace and serenity.

Excellent book for anyone, even if you are not in Recovery. 

God Wants You To Know….

God wants you to know, that the weight you carry on your shoulders is much too heavy for one human being. Give some of that weight where it belongs, – to God, and have faith that what happens is for the best, whether you understand it or not.

“I’m only one,

But still I am one.

I cannot do everything,
…But still I can do something;
And because I cannot do everything,
I will not refuse to do the something that I can do.” -Anonymous

Women are like Tea Bags to see how strong we are just put us in hot water.

“Be still when you have nothing to say; when genuine passion moves you, say what you’ve got to say, and say it hot.”~~D. H. Lawrence

“In matters of principle, stand like a rock.” ~~Thomas Jefferson

“Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”~~Albert Einstein

“While writing the story of your life, don’t let anyone else hold your pen.”

“Whatever you are, be a good one.”~~Abraham Lincoln

“Sometimes People Don’t Want To Hear The Truth Because It Destroys Their Illusions.”~~Neitzsche

Blowing someone else’s candle out doesn’t make yours burn any brighter.

Whether you think you can or think you can’t, either way you’re right.

“For those who understand, no explanation is needed. For those who do not understand, no explanation is possible.”

God is with us~every step of the way

Take The Steps…One At A Time…One Day At A Time


Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson


In our program (the twelve steps), if you do not take the steps and do the footwork, then you may stay sober but you will be cutting yourself short.

Why not go for it all? I did not just want to just stay sober but I wanted serenity too. I spent a lot of years living in the chaos.

When I found out the solution, and that I had a choice, I thought who in the hell would choose to stay miserable when the steps were free and could help stop the insanity and chaos?


We Thank Thee, Lord

Some of the things that I am grateful for from my God.

Number one for my God/Jesus.

Number two, to be born in the USA to Christian parents.

Number three, for my sobriety and recovery.

Number four, my New Life since March 28, 1986. Number five, My loving family and friends.

Number six, For all of our military Heroes past and present.

Number seven, for my wonderful Clients that are also good friends, and make my work a joy, like Arthur H. Van Slyke, Jr./T’ Quarius Music USA.

With God All Things Are Possible

A whelk shell in the seafoam at the beach on Hatteras Island.It was on a Friday morning I went to my very first Al-Anon meeting at the church just thirty two (32) years ago. I was so depressed, and feeling hopeless. I loved a man who was an alcoholic and refused to stop drinking. I thought that if he loved me enough that he could stop. He did not choose to stay sober and so three years later, I chose to divorce him. I loved him but I had to for once put me and my five year old son first, and remove us from the chaos and insanity.

Today thirty two years later, I am happily married to a wonderful man who does not drink, drug, or smoke, and he is the “love of my life”. We love each other “warts and all”.

Josh Groban – You Raise Me Up (Official Music Video)

Uploaded on Oct 25, 2009

“You Raise Me Up” by Josh Groban from Closer, available now.

Download on iTunes:

Connect With Josh Groban:

“You Raise Me Up” Lyrics:

When I am down and, oh my soul, so weary;
When troubles come and my heart burdened be;
Then, I am still and wait here in the silence,
Until you come and sit awhile with me.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up… To more than I can be.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up… To more than I can be.

There is no life – no life without its hunger;
Each restless heart beats so imperfectly;
But when you come and I am filled with wonder,
Sometimes, I think I glimpse eternity.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up… To more than I can be.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up… To more than I can be.

You raise me up… To more than I can be.

OMG, how I love this song so much! Thank You, Josh Groban for singing my song. The song has me in tears listening to it. I know all the words.

My Mom and Dad were my heroes, they were always there when I needed them. God knows how much I miss them, and how I always let them know how grateful I was to have them in my life for fifty eight years. The song also reminds me of how much God loves me. I never believed that I was worthy enough or perfect enough. Today in recovery, I do know that God has always loved me, and that He never left me, I left Him.  I thank God for our Christian singers and songwriters. 

Our God is an Awesome God!

Uploaded on Nov 16, 2008

Uploaded on Dec 10, 2006


Wow, 7,546,734 views!! Fantastic song. Heard it first on KSBJ, and I sing it a lot.
God has delivered me from my addictions since January 1, 1987.
I woke up this morning singing this song!
Tonight I am celebrating twenty seven years of sobriety and serenity, by the grace of a loving and forgiving God.
I did not do this alone, I had a lot of sober alcoholics and alanons who gave given freely of themselves through the years.
I have gone through death, divorce, unemployment, homelessness, stalking, abuse, and even a cancer scare back in 2000.
I lost my Dad in 2002, my Daddy in 2006, and Moma in 2012, and so now know I have to be the “grown up”.
I always wanted to be one of the big kids, and sit up at the big table with Moma and Daddy.
I just turned sixty this month. It feels so weird.
I am RESPONSIBLE by the grace of God and the twelve steps and therapy.
I learned years ago, that I had a choice, and that if I wanted to just stay sober I could, but for me I wanted it all!
Sobriety and Serenity takes action and doing the “footwork”. I did not want to just sit back and say ok make me well or fix me.
I did not get sobriety and serenity without working the steps.
Many an alcoholic has gotten drunk again by not working the steps and “growing up” and taking Responsibility for themselves.
Many have died drunks.
God gives us free will, so we have the freedom to choose how we want to live.
In our “instant” and “throw away” society people want the “easy way” out for everything.
If you want it all, and don’t want to just be a “dry drunk”, then you must do it all.
Choose life and sobriety.
“Nothing is impossible with God.”

Overcome Evil With Good

“Do not let yourself be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”  Romans 12:21

When I work with others it helps me to get out of myself and my own problems,  and it pushes me to think of how to help them, then in turn, God helps me and blesses me.

God provides all my needs, and some of my wants. Everyone knows someone who is less fortunate than them. Reach out where you are. the quote, “Bloom where you are planted” has a special meaning for me.

In other words, we cannot help everyone but we can help those that God has put in our path to help.

HELP = Helping Other Lonely People.

It breaks my heart that I cannot help everyone, but that is reality.

I visited a friend in the nursing home Friday, and of course she was so happy to see us and to be remembered especially during the holidays. I had several little gifts, but there were so many people there that looked lonely and sad, but just saying Merry Christmas doesn’t seem to be enough.

I am not financially able to visit very often. But…one little frail lady really tugged at my heart strings. I was going to my friend’s car to get the gifts, and I walked by her sitting in her wheelchair crying for someone to help her. I told her Merry Christmas, but I had nothing left to give. She stopped calling for help for a few minutes, and she said that she wished that she had someone to come see her. She reminded me of my mother in her last days, all she wanted was to be loved and given attention.

God it made me think of mother’s last six years at home with us, and it taught me to be grateful that my mother did not have to go through that. I had already made the New Year’s resolution with myself, that I was going to start visiting the nursing homes near me. I don’t have money for gas to go far, and my truck is old and not in that good of shape. But…God reminded me again, to “Bloom where I am planted”.

CHRISTmas to me is about Sharing God’s Love With All His Children…Young and Old

Sally T, Sally V, & Melanie L, Alvin, TX, December 20, 2013CHRISTmas to me is about Sharing God‘s Love With All God’s Children. It is about giving not receiving. No matter how little you have, if you look around there are people who have less than you do. God told us that God’s greatest commandment was to love one another. Me and the Girls got a chance to spend the day together just enjoying each others company and catching up what has been going on in each others life’s.
Me, Sally V., and Melanie L. have stayed friends and stayed in touch for years through all our problems, and we each have been each others support system. We never gave up on each other. Us old people need love too.

God has blessed me with friends who have loved me unconditionally like Jesus has loved us. I am truly blessed. All of my needs have been met. I have God in my life and in charge of my life. I am truly loved for exactly who I am. I have family and friends that have loved me through all the problems, all the deaths, lost jobs, lost homes, lost cars, and lost loves. People and things are no longer my “higher power”, and I never have to be alone again unless I want to.