“Be doers of the Word, and not hearers only.”~~~James 1: 22 (KJV)
One of the things that I remember most that my boss and mentor taught me was that if we wanted to change and grow, then we must take Responsibility for our own lives. He had “NO MORE EXCUSES” painted in bold black letters behind his desk at Central unit. He worked with and helped many a “hurting” inmate who needed him to teach them how to “grow up” and become responsible for themselves.
I was a Counselor in the T.D.C.J.-ID Central unit for five years, and Responsibility was one of the principles that I taught the inmates. Personal Responsibility was one of the principles that was really hard for them to accept.
They had spent most of their lives blaming others for all their problems. They blamed their parents, society, and the world for all their problems. They believed that if only their parents had not abused them, or abandoned them that their lives would be better; or if the cops had not picked on them.
They claimed no responsibility for their “bad decisions“. They were in prison paying their consequences for those “bad decisions”. I reminded them that they were not “bad people” they just made “bad decisions“.
And if they did not “grow up” and take responsibility for their own life’s that they would stay stuck and victims. For recovery and their freedom they would have to take responsibility for their own actions and decisions, but not for others decisions or choices.
One of the biggest problems in our society today is that people don’t want to take responsibility for their lives. I call it the “blame-game“. They want quick fixes. Society has trained them to believe that if they have problems, somebody else is responsible. Their parents, spouses, schools, or employers are responsible. The company that made the cigarettes or vehicle or junk food is responsible.
I am not saying that you are completely responsible for the current state of your life. Lots of uncontrollable events occur in our lives. sometimes we do get very bad messages in childhood. Sometimes we have bad people in our lives who hurt us. The situation that you find yourself in may or may not be your fault. But it is your fault if you choose to not “let it go” and “grow”. We have choices. We either “grow” or we “go”. No matter how you got to where you are today, don’t use it as an excuse to stay there.
I have heard our program for living as a “self help” program, and I resent that analogy. It is not!
Our whole foundation is based on God and a “higher power”. If I could have healed myself, then I would have done it years ago instead of waiting until I was thirty two. Nothing is impossible with God.